01 November 2002

Hi.

Last night before drifting off to sleep I told myself I needed to get on and write about....

But I don't remember now.

I think last night I realized why I loved Jeff so much. I can be completely real with him. I know no matter how silly, or pathetic I can get at times, he is completely devoted to making me happy. And sometimes, when I'm PMSing and the world seems so miserable, I have a hard time understanding why Jeff likes me. And I think last night made me realize, that Jeff can probably be completely real with me too.

That's such an amazing feeling to just be completely accepted, and not to have to worry about how you look, or what you say. I mean we'll still make fun of each other at times, but it's never serious, and it's perfectly okay. And i like that. :)

My sister got engaged last month. I'm so excited for her. It'll be an interesting experience, because I'll probably learn a lot of things from her wedding [for my own]. Her guest list is just over 200 people. That is *so* many people, but my family is so big, I don't think there's anyway around it. It kind of sucks, because there are parts of my family that I don't know very well, and I don't really want them to come. I mean if space/money weren't an issue, I could care less, but it kind of sucks you have to invite a cousin you haven't talked to since you were ten, over friends you talk to all the time, just because they're family.

But I wouldn't want to insult somebody; i'll just have to do what my sister is doing: invite them, and pray they RSVP their regrets. :)

I think I'm going to double major. I have to petition my college to allow me to count a GEC towards one of my majors, and if that goes through then i'll be able to double major, and still graduate on time in the spring. If it doesn't go through, I'll only technically need two credit hours for my spring quarter (both electives), and then I'll probably try to do two internships (one with Women's Studies, and the other for Communications) for credit. What a fun quarter, huh?

The only bad thing about double majoring...is I'm taking more classes that I didn't originally attend or care to take. It also means I have to take a WS internship (it's part of the program) spring quarter, and I'll be far too busy to take a communications internship (which had been my plan all along). I guess any internship is good...it's just not what I had in mind. Plus, I feel like WS still feels threatening to some people, even though i'm going to use it as a positive (It's added diversity to my education), I don't know if I actually intend to use WS in my career, but who knows.

I had a paper and two midterms due this week. I think I did reasonably poor on all three. The paper was disorganized, no focus, and i'm not sure if my arugment even made any sense (la la la). My first midterm, I think I did okay. It's hard to tell, because her mult. choice were kind of (who knows) and her short answer were more confusing than I expected, so it just depends on the teacher's grading strategy (which is hard from what I've heard, boo.). I did have to write up a case study analysis for half of the midterm (which was 11 pages!) and I think I did a pretty good job with that.

On my second midterm, I was embarressed to turn it in. Once again, the mult. choice is a toss up (I'm horrible at it, I over analyze everything.) And the short answer went miserably. She gave us three short answer (which seemed more like essay questions to me, not short answer), and i looked at three and I didn't know how to answer any of them. I knew bits and pieces, but not enough that even I would give myself credit for it. Sigh, I really wanted to just turn it in blank, because I'd rather it just be nothing, then completely made up, ("What the hell was she thinking?") answers. But, I went ahead and literally made up answers for these questions. It wasn't just your usual essay B.S. this was completely....the answers could have been blue, yellow and green, but I wasn't even guessing colors, I was talking about Bill Clinton and super models.

I'm sorry, I know I don't make any sense. But basically, I could have been competely way off in my answers, because I didn't even know what she wanted, or what she meant. It'd be like if someone asked you to define "gershinsleu"--how do you B.S. through that one?

So, I'm slightly scared to see what I get on that.

The good news, is although my paper sucked, I got a 100% on our first exam--and hey, in college, that's pretty hard to do! So I'll just have to keep bragging about that even if I get C's (or worse!) on everything I turned in this week. Sigh, I'm sick of school. I am so ready for this quarter to be over, and I still have over a month left.