I ran slightly over 16 miles today. It's still a novel that I can do that. Although, I suppose a fare amount of walking took place over the 2.75 hours I spent completing it. Unless if I really step up my training I don't see how my 4 hour marathon goal is going to happen.
I find I'm oddly disappointed by a bad run. I mean...crushed, depressed bad so that to reduce my running anxiety I've pretty much made it a habit to make my runs as no pressure as possible. The only thing I've kept "sacred" is my long run. No matter what, I will complete the required number of miles...even if that means I have to walk it.
But, ever since running the half-marathon I've felt...very un-interested in running. More so, I'm just tired. My annual convention that I organize is next month and the stress has reached a peak. I am working longer hours and putting in extra evening/weekend hours to help supplement.
Even though I know theory says that running is helpful in this time of high stress I just feel burnt out and really not into doing it. So, while I ran 15 miles last weekend and 16 miles this weekend (which actually felt like a pretty good run) I really haven't been maintaining my routine runs. The training schedule I follow is pretty relaxed. It allows for two "rest" (or, one cross train and one rest) days and my daily runs fall from 4-10 miles.
But, over the past two weeks I think I only ran twice during the week and for a pathetic 2-3 miles each. Haha, and on the treadmill. I'm just...not feeling it. And not feeling it the point that I can't help the flood of negativity and so I just choose to stop running and go home once I start.
Ah. To be at home, quiet, doing nothing and just trying to grab some peace and hopefully go to bed early. Because I'm exhausted. Mentally fatigued to the point that my body is physically tired as well.
I think my long runs would go much better if I would develop better overall stamina and practice. I've also been eating generously....on anything and everything I want. I have gained weight and while my BF% has actually gone down (wow) so I know I have gained some muscle I have also noticed clothes not fitting so well in other areas so I know it's not all the right kind of gain.
I have two social/food activities coming up on Monday and Tuesday. My dad is in town on Monday which means I won't be able to go to the gym and we will be going out to dinner. On Tuesday I have book club...which usually means a variety of food and drink. Sure, I could just say no at book club, and eat sensibly on Monday with my dad but....I so rarely go out that I just want to be able to enjoy it and not worry about what I'm eating (or not eating).
So, Wednesday is gearing up to be my launch day. That does not mean I can go crazy the next two days. It just means that I can eat as usual and there won't be any restrictions. Starting Wednesday it's back to counting calories. Overall, my diet really hasn't been awful. It's more of a candy drawer problem. There is an entire drawer that my office keeps that is full of candy. I have created a really terrible habit of hitting it up at least once daily...usually two times. Maybe more. La la la....
I think just breaking that habit and not going into the candy drawer may result in an immediate weight loss. But, I will also focus on more balanced dinners. Breakfast and lunch are almost always healthy and not something I have to worry about. Even dinner is usually not so bad, it's more of a portion-control issue than anything.
As I said, breaking the candy habit will probably result in the biggest difference. Losing weight will help in a couple of ways. One, being unbalanced hormones-wise I can definitely tell a difference when I keep the high-sugar items out of my diet. I feel a lot less emotionally crazy. My skin also improves! Two, I will have to wear business attire during my conference. I normally work in jeans. If I want to fit comfortably into my business clothes then I need to lose at least 5 pounds. Five will make a noticeable difference in how the clothes fit.
Three, I think I actually run better at 5-7 pounds lighter too! At the very least, some of my shorter running shorts fit better which means I feel more confident wearing them.
