22 April 2001

Hey. So school sucks. (surprise.)

I don't think taking 20 credit hours would be so hard and terrible if each of them didn't have so much homework. I need to have more classes that involve unconfrontational lectures.

You know, the whole two midterms and a final kind of thing.

Not the daily homework, lots and lots of readings, quizes, presentations, papers, etc. Not fun, and way too much.

And having a morning class is really tiring me out. I'm actually pretty excited for my fall schedule (assuming I get it.) I'm going to take 15 hours because the class times are too long and to fit in another with what's offered. On Monday and Wednesdays I will only have one class...and it'll start at 1:30pm. How wonderful is that? And on Tues, Thurs, I'll have a 10:30, and a 6:30-8:18 class. And oh yeah....no classes on Friday. Woo woo. I haven't done that since first quarter freshman year.

Unfortunately, I think I do I have to take a summer course. I'm not too excited about it, but it's necessary so I can get into my major and apply in time to start taking classes next winter. In the meantime, I have a quarter's worth of classes, and if I'm not in my major, I'll have to take a quarter off while I wait to get into Communiciations if I don't take the summer course!

So I had three major things going on last week.

1.) Paul Oakfold concert here in ol' Columbus, Ohio

2.) MAJOR amounts of homework, a paper a quiz and a midterm.

3.) My birthday on Friday.

Okay, so a birthday isn't all that major to me, but the results were somewhat. :)

The school stuff would have been stressful on any given week, but the fact that I had Paul on Tuesday, and a paper and a midterm the next day, made it especially so. I really meant to get ahead over the weekend, but really. It was Easter weekend, and I was busy.

Er, laying around and wasting my days away.

So I probably cried a couple thousand times but I did survive. I'm not sure how the paper turned out. It was supposed to be 4-5 pages. Mine was seven. I always have that problem. (Hence the diary entries that last forever!) So I hope she doesn't count off because of it. I actually went to my professor and he said I understood the concepts...just the paper had no focus and it was boring. :)

Haha, so I hope I fixed that. :)

Er, the midterm? I'm pretty sure I didn't do that well. It's really a toss up. I never know when it's multiple choice. There was just so much information and theory to remember that....well basically, even if I had properly prepared the way I wanted to (which I didn't) I don't think I would have been much better off. It's not an excuse, but at least it's not a "if only I had..." instance. Because I don't think I could have if only-ed much better.

The quiz? Yeah, a 106 out of 110, with a 100 being a perfect score. That sure is a lot of bonus points.

Now for Paul. I was pretty pumped the whole day about it. Definitly in a good, giddy mood, and the fact that I was completely blowing off my homework when I'm so anal about it was making me sort of out of my mind. (I actually skipped a class to work on my paper as well, so I had some of that "I'm a rebel" feeling too. ;) Haha, for those of you who don't know....I NEVER skip, even when I know we won't be doing anything, and it won't hurt me. Or even help me ;) I STILL ALWAYS go. So yeah, maybe cuz it was Spanish, is why I was happy. ;)

That night, I was having a fashion panic. It was at a club...but i figured a lot of raver kids would be going. When I called the club they said basically "anything would go...for tonight." I figured it was a club, so club clothes I was wearing.

Shiny black pants with this sparkly pattern. Sounds ghetto.

They are.

Haha. I also wore a stretchy black tube top. So I was the girl in black, and I looked hot, but I was still really paranoid I would show up there, and I'd be surrounded with girls in baggy pants and lots of color and I would look like a freak.

A bunch of sigma Chi's ended up going with us, which was fun. (Us being me and Jeff). I was pretty excited to see Billy dance because he never does and we never really hang out all that much, other than when Jeff and I sit around in the room (he's Jeff's roomie).

Dish out the E, and we're off. Once we get there, I feel better about the outfit (most of everyone outside is all dressed up as well.) Jeff is paranoid about being patted down with the E on him so we take it in the car. I wish he'd ask what we're taking. (If it's good, you'd want to request it, or if it's bad you'd make sure not to get it again!) But whatever, he didn't for Cancun, and he didn't here. All I know is that it was pink.

The guy he got it from (same from cancun) said it was pure E, and his personal favorite.

Go into the club, and feel the scene out. Enough rave kids to make me happy (I love 'em.) I wanted to run up to some girl and examine her candy because it was really impressive but Jeff held me back. ;)

There's a guy who starts spinning soon after we get there...D:fuse. I had never heard of him, but he had an accent and was mixing in a Cowboy hat. Oh how the cowboy hat turns me on. :P

I think the roll is about to hit me, and I grab Jeff for the dance floor. About thirty seconds later I feel like I'm going to fall over and my heart is going to jump out of my chest. Not to mention my sandals are sliding everywhere on the dance floor. Jeff takes me off and we're leaning on the bar and Jeff is all worried about me, because I'm just like "woah."

And that's really all I can say to explain it. My whole body, my whole everything, I just wanted it to stop because it was "woah!" Usually, it takes about an hour to hit me. And even when it does, it feels like it's creeping up on me, and I'm only rolling partially if that makes sense. Then, as the night goes on, it gets stronger until it achieves a period at the peak, and then is slowly fades out.

But that was like....as if I had hit the peak all at once, and it had only been maybe a half hour or so since we had been at the club. Just, wasn't what I was expecting, and completely caught me off guard. I can see how the (dealer?) would say it was the "best" because it came on so strong so quickly, but I wasn't into that at all. Put me into shock. So I just stay there for awhile spinning, until I think it's subsided then we go out to dance some more.

I'm having a lot of fun, and when Paul comes on the crowd is so into him, it's great. We get up pretty close and watch him spin for awhile. I go to the bathroom. I'm trying to fill my water, but the guy won't let me. I figured they'd pull that move. I run into a girl I had gone out with a couple of times freshman year. Talk to her for awhile. Er, talk to everyone in the bathroom. When I roll I want to befriend everyone...and I certainly try to. ;)

Come back, do some more dancing, sample some other rooms. Jeff and I are sitting in a corner "I love you-ing" each other. Haha, we have this conversation all the time. Tell each other how wonderful we are together, how the other fits us so well, and yadda yadda. More dancing, I'm completely soaked in sweat. I'm making connections with lots of girls on the dance floor and it's a lot of fun. There's this one girl, she looked Indian and we were mimicking each other's moves across the floor. That was fun. :)

Meet some glow stick boys but I'm not very impressed. Too bad.

Columbus clubs are really rather unimpressive as a whole, so from Cancun to this place the lights are just....nothing at all. But Paul is great. There were a couple of songs that were...incredible.

There was one part where...I can't even explain it, but we were all, like everyone stopped dancing, almost to...haha, er, worship Paul?! Seriously though, we were all standing there, and everyone had their hands up towards him, palms facing him. good song. ;)

Another part, this song was like chimes, you could feel the "chime" kind of like an echo, starting from deep inside you, then, with each consecutive (circle?) it bounced out of you. Haha, that makes no sense, but it was really....cool. I wasn't even rolling during that song but it was just like...you wanted to stop and feel the chime running through you. I wish I knew what it was called because I would love to hear it again.

Okay, so I've never had a roll run out on me before. I mean...I know they eventually run out, but I've never experienced a feeling of it "stopping". Or I have but never so....sudden?

This time, almost at exactly three hours after I had taken the roll I was just done. It was rather disappointing. Especially, because, I mean I had been running on almost no hours of sleep to begin with since Sunday and by that night, I was tired, so there it was 1:30 in the morning, and I was really tired. I wanted to stay and enjoy the music and keep dancing, but I just felt tired. I also was feeling kind of....not bad, but just...

I think, sort of weirded out, only because I had never had a roll end like that before. I also because, it almost does feel like they usually last "forever" with me, and I have so much energy. I didn't even think I was going to sleep that night, because I still needed to re-do my paper and study more for the midterm.

So Jeff could tell I was tired and we left. I don't think Paul was playing for that much longer after that anyway, but I still felt kind of bad that we were leaving early. Went back to Sigma Chi, and I was passing out on the couch on his room. Jeff said he was still rolling and was all tingly. I want to let him enjoy his roll because he's still wired but I'm really tired. Decide to go to sleep. Not much longer I start feeling really not good. It feels like my stomach is so tight inside. I get up, because I need to....I don't know.

I can't even stand straight up, I feel like if I had my stomach would just rip open it was so tight. I start feeling a little sick, but I don't want any water or anything. Jeff's asking me if I want to go to the hospital but I tell him no. It's nothing like that, I just didn't feel very good. My head hurt and my stomach was just tight.

Go back to sleep, but a couple of mintues later I feel like I'm going to throw up and Jeff pulls a trashcan beside the bed. I don't get sick, but I just lie there and feel not good. It's kind of a rough night (although short) because I'm getting up at 7am to start working on school stuff. I feel better in the morning but still a little woozy.

Take some pepto bismo and start working. I feel fine the rest of the day, although I'm completely exhausted. I cannot remember ever feeling so tired in my life. I could feel the tiredness deep in my bones. I accidentally overslept a "mini-nap" before my 12:30 spanish class later in the day and basically arrived 10 minutes before the class ended. (Keep in mind I just skipped the day before ;) Oops.

I still enjoyed paul, but the way the night ended definitly makes the night not as great as it could have been. Also, I wish I could have heard Paul play at a bigger place. Something more deserving. But I had a good time, and I'm glad that we finally got to hear him live. There's something about that music, it's weird.

Oops, I lied, I still had another midterm the following day on Thursday as well. So my sleepless nights were not over. By Thursday night I was really tired, but wanted to spend time with Jeff. At midnight, we were going to go to bed, but I had just turned 20 (the 20th was my 20th b-day ;) and we started kissing. And it was this intense, star gazing kind of kissing.

And if I ever had to describe how "making love" should be, I think what we had that night was it. Just amazing. It's hard to understand something like sex being so tender, but passionate and good because fucking is....well, fucking Jeff is knowing everything he likes, and everything I like, and we're doing it to each other, in this hard, rough, can't get enough of you way. And that's not bad sex. ;) Infact, it's good. ;) Haha, and then there's just completely loving on the other person, and somehow making love is both of those put together, flowing from and the other all at the same time. I don't think I've ever drowned in his eyes the way I did that night.

Happy Birthday indeed.