10 March 2000

Yo. So like, the world's been a crazy mess, tangled and droopy like noodles.

Influence. Ah, how so much in the world influences me, continually pulling and shaping me into this...something? So does society create me, or do I just think society creates people, so I let it? ah.

"Disneyland is presented as imaginary in order to make us believe that the rest is real, when in fact all of Los Angeles and the America surrounding it are no longer real, but of the order of the hyper real and of simulation. It is no longer a question of a false representation of reality (ideology), but of concealing the fact that the real is no longer real..."--Jean Baudrillard.

How interesting. It amazes me to no end that out of all my classes I find Photography to be the one that actually makes me think about the world. How does art relate, it's so huge. Go art funding. Yeaaa.

I don't know what's wrong with me. Yeah, tired. And Hungry. Damn, hungry. Like I have a problem, last night devoured an apple...I have problems. It must be PMS.

I don't know, what's on my mind. I guess, relief, that this week is over for me. Okay, not completely, I have my art final tomorrow, but I'm not worried about it. The last week of "real" classes for my WI00 quarter. Amazing, I think this quarter went by fast for some reason. I don't know why. Was I dreaming? Maybe it's because I didn't meet any stable "area" friends. Such a shame, totally broke one of my New Year's Resolutions. Speaking of, I didn't keep a lot of those already. But that's okay, I made them to serve the time I was at. If they no longer serve me, there's no need to push it on my life. Yep.

Water is good, but I'd still like a juice drink. My back has got some fierce itching issues to deal with. I can't believe I faked tan, bad aglaia, bad! But it worked, which was so incredibly neat. I mean, okay, I broke my vow, and went tanning (only at my mother's insistence, if you believe that!) but this time I actually got some color. Burned. Of course, have never "just tanned" in my life. So this is good. Probably saving me from some days of burning hell (pun intended--ha!) when i hit Florida on the 19th. Of course, that's still a week away. Then again, my package allows for 3 more times. I'll probably go once this weekend, then maybe sometime in the middle of the week, then on Friday. Why am I telling you this?

And why am I telling myself this, I don't care!

Midnight. I love how my new watch beaps at me on the hour every hour. Good stuff. Of course, me and my other watch had gone through some tough stuff together. Well it's its own fault for flying off and leaving me timeless at the TG last week. And I got a nifty new watch to replace it. Terribly ugly. Heck, I walked into the store, and the first watch I saw I said "I'll take it!" Clueless, aglaia.

So the otherday I had to turn down Mike for a date this weekend. That's okay, I mean it's better. I do think he's cool though, I just....yeah, you know don't feel like dating him.

Actually, it's pretty nice being boy free. Not that I wouldn't mind having a boy, but I find myself pleasantly busy that being boyless isn't an issue. Of course, I'm not exactly boyless either. Alright, so I may not be in a specific "dating relationship" me and the boyfriend/girlfriend get up, but i'm still "getting some" if you will. Enough to keep me mildly stimulated, my imagination happily entertained, and i'm pretty much set. Besides, I like the "courting" stage better than anything.

So what about R? Well....I don't know what to do. After our last "date." (It's quoted, cuz it never really feels like it is one...although defintily not a "non-date" but this doens't make any sense ;) Okay, so this weekend marks our two week hook up qualifications. I suppose I should call him. He did take me to the Zone last time, so it's my turn. Sigh. I didn't really have a good "date" last time. And the thing, is, that I think we could make something work, we just aren't....trying, i don't know. Like there's a lack of assertion, or motivation or something.

I think what we have could definitly be more interesting, but at the moment it's just not. Our strong parts are our attraction to each other, dancing and philosophy. Just give a little more to each of those areas and we should be fine. We seem to be feeding off the dancing, which makes it more of a "friend" area. I think we like kissing each other (after I whip him into shape of course ;), just either him or I need to take a little more of an aggressive stance on this. He's so friendly and open, but maybe he's just shy or something, who knows. I guess everyone has some ego conflicts when it comes to approaching the opposite sex. So last time I took the "aggressive" edge. His turn ;)

So, should I call him?

I actually was pretty good. I mean last weekend, I tried calling him, tried breaking that two week system. But he wasn't there. I just don't get it,and the whole two weeks thing--like, that really bothers me. Does it bother him? I don't really know what to think of it. Is he seeing someone else? Not like it would matter (ha! I see enough of other guys on my time, don't I?!). But if he was interested in trying out something "more" between us, I surely could stick to one guy. Besides, I didn't want to hook up with Mike, cuz I've still got this "feeling" for R.

I'm so glad this quarter is over. I'm ready for something different. I bet next quarter is hell though. Nah, positive thoughts, hopefully it will great. Hopefully, econ isn't as bad as I hear. Hopefully the math is just review, and it doens't depress me. History should be cool, and hopefully acting is more fun, than it is just plain stressful. (As I've found photgraphy to be this quarter.)

MP3.com is absolutely fabulous. I love finding all these new artists. There are so many talented people out there, it's a shame our radio waves is cluttered with repeat offenders when we could be playing all these unsigned bands. Sign them up already, can't ya hear the talent?? Go check out: Chasing Gray, they're totally awesome. If you like that:"acoustic-based melodic rock". Yes I do.

Too bad me and Craig Kyle didn't hit it off. Whew, what a hottie.

This entry-->Going nowhere. Actually it's been gone, really from the start. Just felt like stopping in, checking things out....been so stressed with finals and what not, haven't had the chance. Spring break will be so much fun. Yaa. So did I tell you about the 151 Rum incident? I can't remember. I probably did. Hehe, and even after all that, all I can think is, gee, that's some good stuff.

I think Danni S. is gonna get our Spring Break crew some drugs. Er, well, maybe just for her and me and Ky. As Ky said, we don't have to take them, we can just take them and keep it as an option. I do want to try 'shrooms though.

Speaking of R(he always links to 'shrooms in my mind ;) I do believe that's another one of my resolutions, making it to another rave. Aglaia, just gots to. So, that means calling R this weekend. Probably should be tomorrow. I keep thinking how terrible that would be if we went out (to like a "normal" place

-->like the movies) and we run into Mike. Oww.

So cheers to: Alpha Xi, Sunburns, Mirror Lake, flat stomachs, blond streaks, kissing guys, spring water, and the quarter ending.

"I've got in trouble with you, you've been coming. I just don't want to upset you, so make your mind up...."

--Curve