Resolutions
31 December 2008
I used to write New Year's Resolutions and actually keep them. It was something I would look forward to checking off and working towards. I am a very goal oriented person so I like having something to focus on and work towards. The last couple of years I didn't write any. I didn't feel inspired to do so. It wasn't that I didn't have goals but somehow it felt like I already knew what I wanted to do and how to do it. Plus, there is a difference between having specific and measurable things and more broad goals, which is how the last few years have gone. I think for 2009 I am ready to make those. I've been thinking about things off and on and new ideas keep popping into my head. A lot of the goals are superficial. Some are extremely simple and almost silly. But, I like having a list and I like having very specific things I want to accomplish. I may continue to update this over the next couple of days as I think of new things. 1. Update my resume I've been saying I need to do this for a couple of years now. I think it's time I actually did it. The last time I went job hunting was in 2005 and it hasn't been touched since. Thinking back to things like summer internships while in college....it will be nice to remove those and actually fill in tasks and accomplishments from "real" jobs. It will take awhile to update. Jeff had created a brand for my resume and cover letter from a design perspective and it may be worth refreshing that as well. 2. Clear skin --work on a solution My skin seems worst now than it ever has. Even as a teenager my skin was relatively clear. I would get one gigantic pimple on my forehead every so often (my mom and I would joke that I was a unicorn) and it felt life-ending in it's horribleness..ha, but overall I had good skin. Now, my "normal" skin is patchy. It feels more oily than before, but it's also constantly peeling. My forehead is now fine it's my chin that feels like it's a kingdom of zits. Cysts really. It's disgusting and I need to find something that works. Also, more than ever I'm starting to feel old. I know 27 is not old but I feel like I can see my facing aging and I hate to be so superficial but I want to find some solutions to help with that as well. 3. Stay connected with friends This is an ongoing battle with me. It has been an issue my entire life. It's hard for me to maintain a strong relationship with more than one person at any given time. It's not that I don't have friends or even have a hard time making them. I think....it's just in my nature to be a bit more of a loner and I'm also very selfish. I like me time and I need a lot of it to feel refreshed and happy. I spend most of my time alone or with Jeff. It's not I'm one of those girls that gets consumed in a romantic relationship forgetting all of her other friends. Apparently I'm just one of those people who get consumed in any relationship period. I remember my mom constantly asking me if I wanted to see other friends when I was in elementary school but even though I called a number of girls my friends I always wanted to spend it with one in particular. I couldn't help it. I just had a hard time focusing and working on a close friendship with more than one person at a time....so I would cycle through who my �it� friend would be at that time. I think it speaks to my compulsive nature. I tend to work in cycles for most everything in life. It continues to be an issue as an adult. I respect and appreciate the friends I do have that allow me back into their lives after I disappear for long periods of time. I know it's not fair for them and they have no reason to invest in me since I (obviously) don't invest the time in them. Unfortunately, I let life stress me out too easily and when that happens I just want more time for myself. But, to make my relationship work with Jeff, I need to give him a good piece of me too. In my world that doesn't leave a lot left for others. I know that isn't healthy and I'm sure Jeff would appreciate getting me out of the house more. I am a person of habit so as unnatural as it sounds I will have to make it a habit to be a friend to my friends. I can't wait to "feel" like hanging out I will have to force myself to make time to hang out. It's not that I won't enjoy myself once there it's just that it's hard to get myself out there when staying in and doing something else sounds more desirable. For those friends that don't live in the same city as me I need to make a stronger effort to stay connected in their lives. If it's not a phone call then at least create a habit of weekly emails to check in. If I'm going to call these people my friends then I should know what's going on in their lives. I should know what's stressing them out, what they're looking forward to, who the important people are in their lives. It's embarrassing how much I isolate myself.
4. Get fit...you're getting married in Greece and you better look beautiful!
Ha, I know it's a bride-to-be clich� to try to lose the weight but it doesn't mean I still don't want to! Those wedding photos will freeze me in time and it would be a shame if I didn't feel good about them. The good news is that since finishing the marathon in October I've actually lost some weight so I'm already on my way. At this point even a minor weight loss will make a difference and I should shift focus from overall weight loss to strength training. If I lost 8 pounds I would be at my college graduation weight. Not bad. I think it's a weight that's reasonable and manageable; of course, I gained 5 pounds within the first couple of years since college and another 5 (yikes, or more) have been added in the years since then. But, it's nice to know you're within 10 pounds of goal weight....and it would be nice to feel really good about my body again. I know I'm still thin and slender and I have been blessed with a flat belly that I am incredibly grateful for. I've always had curves but my lower half feels a bit out of control and I would rather not be showing off a bikini in the company of friends and family if I don't feel good about the way I look. Plus, I tend to hold extra weight in my face so even losing another 5 pounds or so will help with the deceiving photo bulge! Weight loss has to be structured if you want to make it work. Like most people I've been eating holiday cookies and snacks like there's no tomorrow. I'm a picky eater so I don't tend to gorge on holiday meals but I have a ridiculously large sweet tooth that borders on gross. So, hopefully we can turn that around in January, weaning myself off all the sweets that have been around the office. The reduced sugar will hopefully help my skin as well! I would like to lose five pounds by my birthday in April. I've been doing almost all cardio but I think it's time to switch and incorporate strength training. I'll go through cycles where I'm really good....doing Pilates for core work, completing upper/lower body strength training on schedule as well as cardio. But....that takes a really structured plan. There's not point in doing weight training unless if you're going to stick to it. Doing it once a week won't help...; well, doing it twice a week probably won't either. So, if I'm not being structured I tend to do cardio only. But, I know that I'm probably at a place where my body will quickly respond to weights and it will be nice to develop some definition. The focus should always be on lean body mass......psychologically it's nice to see the number on the scale go down but if my body fat percentage isn't going down as well I'm not going to be really happy with the results. I've always been better with abs and legs so I think this time around I'm going to give an extra push for working on my arms. It's not that they're flabby but they aren't defined either. Mostly, I'm just so weak it's sad. Plus, less weight and more strength means I'll run faster! And since I plan on continuing with the running and doing another marathon in 2009 this will help me with that too! 5. Run a marathon in 4:35 or faster That is 15 minutes faster than my 08 time and completely within reason. I think a 4:15-4:30 is definitely doable and perhaps with my experience I may be even faster this time around. Ultimately, I would like to complete a sub 4 hour marathon. That doesn't make me fast....but it would feel a little more respectable. Marathon or not I don't consider myself a "runner" in the sense that I love the sport. I do it to stay in shape and to give my athletic side something to focus on. It shouldn't be something to stress about (ideally it's something to help de-stress!). But, what's the fun in racing if you don't get to improve on your time?! 6. Have sex on my wedding night I know, it's crazy to even have to say it but I know I'm going to be wiped out and it will be a long day. But, it will be important to Jeff and it's something I want to make sure that we actually do. 7. Go down on him the morning after the wedding. Well, he'll appreciate it and I think we should start this marriage off right. Haha, yes, this is a resolution. 8. Clean my car on a quarterly basis The good news is the inside of my car is kept cleaned out. There's no trash or stuff that needs to be removed but it could use a good vacuum to remove the dust and dirt that has collected. I think getting a car wash and vacuum once a quarter is not asking a lot in maintaining my car. If I'm willing to get everything else done on schedule then I should take into consideration its appearance as well. 9. Create a plan and a budget for buying a home. Okay, so it's not something that's really a priority for me. Based on the overpriced real estate in Chicago it's actually a better deal to rent than it is to own. Plus, I like the idea that I can move to a different neighborhood (or out of the state!) without too much effort. I like that I don't have to manage repairs and upkeep. These are not things I'm ready to worry about and be responsible for. BUT, this is a big deal for Jeff and I think I should support him it. He's been steadily saving money for years with home ownership in mind and I'm feeling guilty knowing that when we do go to buy a place it will probably be him who will be financing the majority of our down deposit. We've always been very equal when it comes to expenses and even though we will be married and our finances will be merged I don't like the idea of things being unequal in that way. I'm sure Jeff will be fine with it but as a woman (and just because it's important to me) I would prefer if I could put in my fair share for something as big as a home. Plus, since I currently make more money than him it's makes you wonder what exactly have I been spending all my money on? I tend to buy more "stuff" than Jeff. It's not anything that's super nice but if I want new running gear, or say, a new laptop bag or anything....I'll just go buy it. I don't think Jeff does that. We're both good with money and both save but it does feel strange to know that he's saved significantly more than me! Of course...he doesn't own a car. Even the car he used to own was a hand me down from his parents. I try to keep that in mind that both cars I've owned I purchased on my own. Because the one I own now was bought new in 2007 I have a hefty monthly auto loan, plus all the expenses that go with it...insurance, maintenance, gas! If I was saving the money that goes into the car I would probably have a lot more too! Hey, he bikes to work....and I don't have that option!
10. Think of something thoughtful to give to your parents and friends who attend the wedding.
I am having a destination wedding in Greece. It will be very expensive. I know half my family (and Jeff's too) don't get why we are doing this. Those that do come...I want to make sure they know how much I appreciate them and how special it is that I get to share our vows with them. I am not a thoughtful person. I am genuine. I think people know they get the 'real' me but...that real me is not a good gift giver. If it comes down to a letter then that is okay but I would like to buy or make something that is personal that I can give. It will take some thought but it's important that I do something to express my thanks. Happy New Year!
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