So when did it turn March anyway?
I feel full of tangents, my mind wanders...
my breath sheds poetry
my brain passes lyrics to my ears
through my ears
a beautiful body
I feel weird.
Reflective.
Pensive.
Am I PMSing?
I sucked it up and called R tonight. Okay, so it took me two hours of prancing around my room, and talking to myself to do it. But I vowed earlier I would do it. For some reason if I sit and seriously "vow" something to myself, I actually do it. Like I have some inner honor to uphold. Who would know but me, and would it really matter? But it works, it makes me do stuff.
He wasn't even there. That's okay, I was just trying to get my voice in his head.
My smile on his mind.
I should have left my name to the answerer, but I said no thanks quickly and hung up the phone.
I've got shit to do. Should have stayed home.
Should have enjoyed the swirls of blue and white
creases in the sky
my shadows
my cold exterior
I feel so inspired but tired. Oh tired, I think I started and finished every entry of my high school journal parting those words. I was doing so good, what happened that I got tired? Once there, it's so hard to escape. There's Spring Break, I hope it's fun. J/k, I know it will be.
I can't believe I threw up last night. What's wrong with me? What am I doing, do I really want to do that? Have I changed, or is the world around me changing? ...and in turn the effects slip on through me?
you's a fine mutherfucker, won't you back that ass up..."
Why do the Fuzzies love that song so?
I love my sisters. Dear friends. I need some guy friends. I feel so guy friend deprived. Will the condition only worsen when I live in the house?
I can't stop thinking about sex. Not that I want to do it (er, I guess, not even that I don't want to do it.) I'm just, I don't know. I need a new guy. I need some action. ;) Not even necessarily a sexual kind, i just love to court someone.
What am I saying, I'm courting M. Am I? He's more of courting me. I hope he can't remember last night. I know I don't. I don't know what I want. Why am I thinking of Bryan? He really wasn't that great. He wasn't. He wasn't real, I created him. I wasn't even attracted to him. An amazing mind can never make up for some underyling chemistry, no matter how much I wanted it to be.
I wish I could connect with someone like that though. When I feel...like this, this strange mood, my mind, my body it's all a mess, I want to be with someone, I want to talk to someone, and let my thoughts pour like a cascade. Cool and fresh, and sweet, lovingly to your lips.
Why do me and R only go out every two weeks? That's weird. What if I'm "Aglaia: girl on the side." Not like I can talk. I was kissing some guy last night.
I want to talk to God.
I need a revival. No I don't. I don't know what I need. Maybe I don't want anything, maybe I don't need anything.
I want to see Dave Matthews live.
I want to be knowing and Right.
I want to never fight with my Mom.
I want a car.
I want R to call me.
I want to kiss him.
I want to teach him to kiss better.
