28 August 2000

Like, yo.

So yeah, I'm a working girl. Just wrapped up a 13 hour shift today. Sort of a long story (but not.)

I'm working another double tomorrow. That'll be three doubles in a row. (Fun stuff.)

BTW, when you have a party of seven, and your bill comes up to 70 dollars + it'd be really nice if you left me more than five dollars.

Thanks.

Sigh. I mean, maybe if I wasn't on my period, if I hadn't been at work for 12 hours already, maybe, maybe....But when you're already so tired, and you just served a big party like so, and you didn't mess anything up (and I only had one other table, so I gave them plenty of hands-on-service, because I was always around for drink re-fills and such.), but I mean...usually bad tips don't phaze me.

I admit, I think I'm usually generous. I call it the $1 dollar rule. I expect a dollar per person ("at lease" of course ;). But I mean, for a large party, a 20% tip would have been around 14/15 dollars. So five---

...was shady. And didn't even qualify for the rule. (That gets a big boooo, compliments of Jeff, I'm sure.)

So I dripped a couple tears from my exhausted little eyes, as I sat in my booth and filled up my sugars and such. Breathe.

(It's important you know.)

I wish I could see Jeff. Looks at clock. I guess it is only 11:12 right now. Almost early for us ;) But I don't know. Have to work another double tomorrow, and--just by coincidence but it seems like when I'm on my period we don't see each other. Not to say it's just a sex issue. (But it is a factor ;) But when I'm like this, I'm so moody and emotional, and drained....and hyper, and yadda yadda. It's better to just get my sleep and get together with people when I'm "normal" again. Ha.

I took a personality test. I believe she sent it to me, if I'm not totally wrong. (Am I? ;) Anyway, I'm a Activist. Which is kind of interesting really. I'm sort of a lazy activist, how's that? ;) I mean, to be "wronged" or whatever, I'm really all about that, getting your justice, standing up for your rights stuff. :)

But I'm usually a follower. And I usually don't have the get-go to actually do anything.

I remember this one time [uh, at band camp--nope but close ;) (okay, this is dumb and had nothing to do with anything.....) when I was playing for my school's graduation in band--I don't remember which year, and as everyone stood up to sing the national anthem, the band remained seated. But you're supposed to stand, for the anthem. I don't know why people stayed seated. No one told us to, no one was motioning for us to stay put--or to rise. (We weren't playing it or anything so, i mean...)

But I did. I stood up and turned around (we were kind of curved around in this pit, and I was facing the opposite direction of our flag.) I thought I would start a movement.

That others would follow my lead? Eh, no. ;) A few people stood up, but the rest stayed seated. I can still remember my little legs trembling, at taking initiative and doing what I felt was right. (And all the people still sitting, but looking at me, because they were still facing the opposite direction.) I mean, it's just the anthem, seriously, who cares if you stand or sit, you know? But it's tradition, the rest of the auditorium stood--why shouldn't we?

I'm a quiet person (sometimes ;) and, I like to listen, I like to ponder. I definitly speak up, when I have something to say, but for the most part, I don't chit-chat. I ramble sometimes. :) But only if I like ya, and I think we're cool enough that you're not standing there wishing I would just shut-up. :) I was shy when I was younger, but I'm really not shy at all now. But the whole anthem situation, that was really out of character for a girl that most people didn't know, and believed to be quiet and shy.

So anyway. But an activist? I wonder. I wonder, if I would be happy in an activist orientated career. (Haha, how funny would that be, if I ended up actually going into a career based off some result from an "un-real" personality test??) It is an interesting idea. My dad was saying not to long ago, that he thinks my sister would be most happiest fighting for a cause. What if we were the same like that?

Hey, have you heard about the crazy people who don't think HIV/AIDS is for real? I was reading about it in (hmm, Newsweek, I believe) and it's just wild. This woman is actually advocating for people to blow off the whole AIDS virus deal. She says it's fake, it doesn't exist, and that people are getting sick from the drug "cocktails" not any real virus. Basically, she found out she was HIV positive, but never developed any of the symptoms. But when she took the medicine, she started having side-effects similar to that of the actual disease.

Conclusion being...it's the drugs. Now she's all like, don't take the drugs, don't wear a condom, don't worry about it, stop paying money for it....

I think it's terrible. I don't know anyone personally who has AIDS or HIV, but I've studied it, and it's just...

...heartbreaking, to hear something like this?

I mean, maybe I could understand not taking the medicine until you develop symptoms, but I mean, to not use condoms, or say it doesn't even exist? We're not all like. Some people develop symptoms and it turns into full blow AIDS very quickly. For others it takes years....maybe even never for anything to show. It's people like her that scientists are studying. (What's in her blood that is making it not appear through the average symptoms, and such.)

I miss Jeff, I haven't seen him in a couple of days--nor talked.

I think I'm ready to go back to campus already.

P.S. I didn't get caught that other day, that other entry I wrote about. I don't know how, but I guess I should just be happy about it. It still sucks to feel that constant strain and unknowingness.

I guess I could just come home on time then, huh? (la.)

Blah. This entry went no where.