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Alone, Isolated and trapped by my fear

15 October 2005

*Big Sigh

Oh, that last entry was hard to read. It captured so much. Sadly, I'm in the same state.

As Saturday approached I simply couldn't do it. We are too "ok" right now. It's just so random and feels so...almost cruel. We're sitting across a room and he's forming hearts with his hands and smiling at me and I'm supposed to run over and break his heart?

I'm so scared. I can't even respond when he tells me he loves me. I feel so bad and so wrong. But, I'm still trapped and I can't do anything.

God, I'm so sad and so alone.

...I can't do this.






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