I was thinking the other day, how you can twist your thoughts, like turning an object in your hand and seeing all the wonderful ways you can peer into it. People at one angle, are so beautifully vibrant and different, from tiny quirks and views, to the way they stand, talk or brush their hair. People can be so much alike though. I guess that's comforting.

I like how herambles as much as me.

I have this mp3 of Sasha (the techno DJ, not the soft crooner, I have unfortunatly found mp3s of ;). Anyone it's of his essential mix New Year, and this part at the beginning with the opera lady in the song (which i love) puts me in the most weird...pensive mood. It's kind of depressing and uplifting all at the same time, which I know doesn't make sense at all. I would love to hear Sasha spin live.

Jeff and I journeyed off to Washington D.C. this Friday and Saturday. It began well enough, I even drove part of the way. And we only took one wrong turn while getting back on after our lunch break. Hit some pretty heavy traffic once we were D.C. rush hour....and poor Jeff was freaking out. I guess it doesn't bother me that much...although he was driving at the time. But still, stuff like that only bothers me if I have a spefic destination that I need to make in time. We were going to hang out with my sister and her boyfriend for the evening...not exactly a pressing matter, so the traffic didn't annoy me like it did him.

I attempted to study on the ride over, but I was much too distracted with the desire to sleep, or the desire to go down on Jeff. (which i did.) I felt like I was in some cheesy movie scene. But fun, never the less. Of course, it would have been more fun if he had pulled the car over, and we could have enjoyed the situation to its fullest.

My sister's new boyfriend was unexpected, but good. Good in the sense, that I actually think she's found a guy who's well off--but laid back. She's seemed to have the habit of finding rich, older guys, who were good looking. There's nothing wrong with that, no doubt, but unfortunatly these guys knew they were good looking and went the route, of your typical jerk. This new guy, Chris, is older, is making really good money in sales (they're going to Hawaii on business as a perk!) but he's rather average looking. But, I think it's time my sister finds someone she can care about, and the guy can worship her back. Because she's absolutly beautiful, classy adn sophisticated, and as long as he can keep up with her, i think they're gonna be alright.

I hope she's happy. She seemed to be. :)

Spent that first night at a BBQ with my sis and her man, as well as some of her new roomies. I like her new house. Her room is sooo tiny, i'm not kidding when i say it could be the size of a bathroom. But, she's right...i guess as long as you're staying over at another person's house (her boyfriend) all the time, why should you pay more for a bigger bedroom that you never use? Her roomies seem like sweethearts.

My sis is right about Jeff. I mean, he is actually a very sweet and funny and outgoing guy (in practice ;) but he does seem very reserved and withdrawn inside of a group of people he does not know. Which is interesting to watch. Like, when we were eating dinner....half the people were sitting, and the other half was standing around in the kitchen. Jeff just went in another room where he could sit down and eat. I followed him, offering my chair back in the kitchen, but said he was fine where he was.

I guess....with new people, I'm interested in learning about them, and putting up good face. Maybe that's superficial on one level (I don't want to appear as unapproachable and boring) but i'm also genuinely curious about other people, and what makes them tic. So I left Jeff in the other room and went back into the kitchen. (I hope that was okay?) I want Jeff to feel comfortable in new situations with people he doesn't know, but I don't want to be withdrawn along his side.

Jeff is pretty stubborn too. I don't think I could make him do something he doesn't really want or care to do. Which is good, I guess. Not like I would ever force him in to doing something. I just asked him if he wanted me to come and sit with him, or have my seat in the kitchen (no) so I just went back. I guess, I wanted him to come back into the kitchen, but it's not like I would have asked him to do that.

The next day we spent in Georgetown just walking around. I guess I was frustrated on some level, because...I didn't know what I wanted out of this trip to D.C.. I wanted to see my sister and see his friend Bill and possibly my sorority sister. But other than that...I didn't really have much of an agenda. I was kind of there....because Jeff wanted to go. So, after we found his record store, he asked me what I wanted to do.

I was kind of speechless. And I hate being that girl that has no opinion and has no direction and just replies with "I don't know's" everytime she is asked what she wants to do, but that's who I was. I didn't want....to do anything. I mean, I was perfectly content following him around, but when he asked me if I wanted to continue to shop along the main street there...I guess, no, I didn't really want to. I didn't feel like shopping, and I didn't really want to spend my money either--but that's not why I didn't want to do it, I just wanted....to continue tagging along.

So it began this frustrating "UGGH!" of what Aglaia wanted to do, and I couldn't figure out what to do....like I didn't know if I should just walk around because it would give us something to do (if we went back to my sis's place we'd just sit around) or just go back because I didn't feel like walking around aimlessly. I wouldn't have minded walking through a park or something, but we had no map and yadda yadda.

Finally we decided to go back to my sis's, and I just felt bad. I don't know why. I guess, I know that he just wants me to have a good time and be happy, so he was offering me a choice to do something that I wanted (he was in the record store for a long time, with me just kind of standing there) to do...but, i guess the problem, was that I didn't want to do anything. I didn't really want to just sit around at someone's home either...i mean we came out here to be doing something different than what we usually do.

...so shouldn't we be doing that?

We hang out waiting for Bill to call, but we can't get ahold of him. Finally decide to just make dinner at my sis's. We make this elaborate "spicy sausage penne" dish, that looked just like mom's cooking. It was really good, and it was nice just chopping up veggies and what not, preparing it together. Afterwards we played cards, drank a little and watched an old SNL.

Bill never did call. I have no idea what happened with that. Jeff kept on asking me if I wanted to call up my sorority sis....but I guess since I don't know her that well, and since she did have other company up...I only wanted to hook up, if we had an actual plan. I mean, in general it's pretty boring just sitting around. It's fine with Jeff, because I really enjoy his company. But I think it would be awkward to throw some random people together to just hang out. So I opted out of that. My sis told us about some cool hang out places, that I would have loved to have gone too (with bill and my friend too) but...since my friend lives like 40 minutes away from where my sister was....

I guess it was just too many people not knowing the area, and whatever.

Went to bed pretty tired, I think he was looking for action. I understand...we have a room to ourselves, and finally get our coveted "sleepover" but I'm just tired. He goes down on me. That doesn't happen very often.

I think, probably, because I don't let him. I think I have a very strong scent, and I shower everyday of course, but the whole....I don't feel very "fresh" after a day, and to have someone down there...i'm usually too preoccupied w/ what's on his mind concerning the situation than to really enjoy the experience. I wish I wasn't like that. We do have sex in the morning though.

Wake up, drive back. I was good about not sleeping on the way up. But I figured at some point, we'd make a pitt stop and I'd switch and drive for awhile. So I succumbed (sp?) to sleep. Unfortunatly, we never took a break, and I slept the whole way break. I think Jeff was kind of bitter about it. I felt pretty bad, and we left kind of...weird. I guess, he was just really tired, and cranky, and I'm sure he won't think anything of it.

But, being the girl I am, I walked inside my house and just started crying.

A couple shout outs.

Too-true reminds me a lot of Perceptions. They are way cooler than me. ;)

I don't think anyone can keep me "on the edge of my seat" (if you will) like this girl. Her diary reads out like a soap opera, or a 'teen tv show. I'm yelling at the monitor, as if she could hear me. Can you? :)

It's interesting, because, I've sometimes wondered if we've (jeff and I) ever felt if sex was all our relationship was/is. And the way Lisse cried out--that no, he means so much to her, and he knows that....it's kind of like that...with Jeff.

I mean, we've never had that conversation ever. But I can pull away and look down on our relationship, and it often seems like sex...can solve things. Solve sounds so negative....like something really needed to be fixed, and I don't think that's really the case, but if something ever doesn't "feel right" in the relationship...affection has always been the best way to make each of us feel better about the situation.

I keep reading about "Burning Man" in diarylands. I wanna go, I wanna go... :) I *might* have actually considered going, if it hadn't been for school. It occurs right at the end of the quarter, and being the anal "must go to every class" chic I am, I couldn't bare to miss something. I am all about getting an "A", and I can't do that if I'm not properly educated :) So anyway, I'll look forward to hearing all the stories out in d-land about it. Sounds like an interesting trip, no doubt.