dreaming marriage, bachelorette, spring break, and job
21 February 2003
First off I would like to congratulate Lisse on her engagement. Whew, I was so *happy*...which I guess makes me a big d-land nerd, but having been reading her diary regularly for what seems like forever, it's pretty awesome to see a relationship go through all those stages to finally...a proposal! Ahhh, all these marriages...with my sister getting married, it's been on my mind a lot. Plus having just finished one of those "self-help" books all about marriage (by John Gottman, who is excellent BTW if you need relationship help) for a class, and then one of Jeff's best friend just proposed to his girlfriend.....and then Trista & Ryan, lol. Speaking of bachelorette I cried at the end (I'm not sure if I can blame PMS on that one ;) Ryan is so "dreamy" as Jeff would jokingly say. But everytime I saw him I couldn't help but gasp, "damn he's hot." And normally I could care less and people don't really make my head turn, but Ryan definitly did it for me. I wonder if you date a really goodlooking guy if the whole novelty of it ever goes away. I doubt it...because it seems the more you're with someone you love, the better looking they get anyway. Not to take anything away from Jeff...he does it for me too ;) I can't decide if Ryan is the right match for Trista or not. On one hand, Charlie seemed to really match her energy, and his $$$ and easy-going attitude seemed to be inline with her lifestyle, but on the otherhand....she looked...in love with Ryan. And I know that sounds dumb, because normally I would say it would be stupid to call someone in love after only spending random nights together over a month, but that smile she wore, I think she may really be. Or maybe she's just in love with the whole idea of it. That may be it. It'll be interesting to see how it works now. I think Ryan would leave Colorado (over Trista leaving her place). Haha, I hope he can keep up that dreamy-love state he has going on. I'm sure when you actually have stresses, and daily issues to deal with the relationship might not run as smoothly, but I hope they work out. Sadly, the Bachelorette (sp?) is probably been the best show I've enjoyed in awhile (after Iron Chef of course ;). But I don't watch TV all that often. I'm a sucker for these reality shows, but I'm afraid it'll make it harder for producers to really look for good writers. Because when you have a television show that really has great writing, it's such an awesome...thing. I mean it's hard to make a really good movie, but I think it's almost harder to do a good TV show, to make it work, every episode, to really be clever, have good camera work, good acting, all that. I used to think Law & Order had that. I was impressed with almost every episode I saw. But I haven't seen that in years. I get restless when I watch TV, and I blame that on the Internet, I like to be doing a lot of things always at the same time when I'm online, and I can't really do that when I watch TV and still follow things. I'll either be bored out of my mind, or be completely sucked in to the dumbest things. So back to marriage, I know, I know, I'm still in college and all that, but...seeing as we have discussed the whole "living together" thing, I still want to have that conversation. I don't want to get married right after graduation, but I want to be able to...talk about it. I mean in my head it's just something that's going to happen, but I don't know what he's thinking. I don't think he'll bring it up again since he did bring up the whole living in the same place, same city conversation, so that's probably "good enough" as for a 'where is our relationship going' talk, but...I don't want to follow him, put my whole job search on hold for him, only to be disappointed. I think...on some level he may think about it, but knowing guys..maybe not ;) I guess, I don't want to freak him out by bringing it up--because I really don't want to get married for at least a couple of years, but I don't want to move in with him just out of convenience. I want to think it has some ultimate purpose. But I know I would be crushed if he didn't respond positively to it. Plus, I still need to work out the kid thing. We've sort of discussed that...I know he just wants to live life and enjoy it. And sure, having a child is a really abstract idea, when I actually think about the whole thing, I feel completely overwhelmed and disgusted (hey, I'm still in college!) And I don't want kids for at least another 5 or 6 years, but...I know it's a for sure thing (just not right now, god!)
Ahhh, I can't believe this quarter is almost over. Soon I'll be driving down to Miami for the winter music fest (if you like techno, you have to go!), then boarding my cruise to the bahamas, with 4 other girlfriends and about 40 sigma chi's, haha. Should be interesting. I am sure there will be plenty of drama with my girls. Unfortunatly I have to room with Jeff and two other guys, which I'm not happy about. I mean it's great I'll get to share a bed with my man, but when a bunch of girls get together....there's just a lot of bonding that I'm going to miss out on. That whole getting ready time, is full of clothes exchanges, make up, dancing, being goofy...just being yourself. You don't have to worry about walking around and looking pretty you can just be silly, and do whatever you want. I mean, I won't even be able to walk around without a bra on, because i'll be paranoid about nipples and such. I'm going to have to change in the bathroom....plus, I hate getting in ready in front of guys, because it's kind of this whole...process. I mean I don't really wear make up or do anything really extravagant (I can shower and be ready in less than 30 minutes :) But...I do usually try on 30 different outfits, and putting on any makeup at all makes me feel superficial. Should be interesting though. I mean I like the guys I'll be rooming with (hey, one of them is the guy who just got engaged!) but...it's still not girls, and since I'll probably spend every other second with Jeff, it would have been nice to have that room time with the girls.
I got an internship with the YWCA for spring quarter. I think it'll be a really good experience. I'll be in their development department, so lots of event planning (which is what I like) so it's convenient that it will continue my communications, plus count for women's study course credit. Hopefully I can go alum in my sorority so I don't have to pay spring quarter, that'll take a whole lot of pressure off of me. I better find someone to sublease my place, because if not, I'm not sure how June's rent is going to get paid. When those school loans stop, I'm going to be in a lot of trouble. And grr, student loans, I don't even want to think about it! Hopefully I'll have my car paid off by then (I only have like $600 left to pay--that's such an amazing feeling!) I am not looking forward to moving back home. Well, maybe I'll get lucky and Jeff will get offered a job during the spring design show and we'll be whisked off to...say sunny san diego?
And since she likes shoutouts so much, go check out the coolest teacher in dland, MsBoombastic One year ago I was bitching about losing an entry. Two years ago I finally "completed" a handjob. And three years ago I was crushing on a "raver" boy, named Ryan
|