18 October 2000

I read at someone's diary that there's a list of "oldschool" d-landers. Where is it? I wanna know! If you know please let me know!

Uh...I'm not so sure how I'm doing in my classes this quarter. I think Aglaia needs to step it up a little. I think now is the time, starting this weekend, I'm going to start...getting ahead. I'm going to do my reading, get my spanish homework done on time (including the terrible "escuchar" assignments.) Of course this is all easier said than done. I still have my Spanish midterm this Friday. But my brain is already exhausted from the cramming and worries that were caused by my previous two that occured this week.

Tonight and tomorrow are going to be rough. I have three chapters worth of Spanish "intensive review" stuff that I basically am not reviewing but learning from scratch. That's a lot of flash cards I'm going to be making and remembering! Then of course, the (ahem) homework I haven't done since last week, that will take awhile. I already found myself curled up in a ball last night crying from it, while I was trying to actually start doing it.

It's not that I'm just lazy and don't want to do my homework..I just seriously can't do it, and obviously that gets frustrating. But...even though it sucks and it rips me up I'm just gonna have to be keeping up, as well as doing my reading for other classes. I may not get all A's this quarter, but I want to at least be able to say I tried my best and that's all I can ask from myself.

We raid phi tau tonight. For some reason....it's part of their philanthropy. I'm not really sure how that all works out, but somehow they get money out of this. ;) THat should be fun, I think we're throwing teddy bear confetti (our mascot thingy) and shaving cream to basically mark their house up with our letters. Fun stuff.

I saw Jeff last night. I had been studying since 2:30 in the afternoon and I went over sometime around 11, so I really needed a break! We watched the movie 12 Monkeys (he's never seen it, it's really good BTW). So of course we spend the whole night talking and messing with each other, and we don't even start having sex until like 3:30 in the morning (um, I have to get up at 8 tomorrow...) but that's how it always goes. ;)

Sex is good, but I never know if I'm....doing it for him. Whenever I ask it's always....whatever you're doing is good. But it does get to a point, where I can tell....he's going to give the whole anal thing another try, but this time from him on top. I know I said I would ask him to put on a condom, but I decided it would be okay, as long as the sex stopped from the point on. (I'm so weak ;)

He goes in slow, and at first it's really tight, but then I just try to relax, and it goes in fine. From this position it almost does really feel like we're just having sex the regular way. He starts, going really hard, and all of a sudden he pulls out all the way, and forces himself back inside of me really hard.

It hurt *so* bad, dear diary, it brought tears to my eyes. Once again, this goes under the TMI category, but either he pulled out real fast again or something (probably when he heard that gasp coming out of me!) and I instantly "puh puh puh puh puh puh..." started farting. Lol, this is so gross. I think he was in omg shock, and I was just lying there trying not to cry and letting the pain subside. So I'm like wiggling, and rolling away from him....don't you dare try to do anymore...! and he's just moves away to slip his boxers back on.

Oh my goodness pain. I didn't even realize it was my body making that noise until afterwards, I was just lying there in frozen terror, really. Haha. And well, I guess he was too. I wonder if he's totally disgusted, lol. Oh well, his fault for sticking his unit in places he's not supposed to. haha.

I guess, as far as anal sex goes....when I have a perfectly accesible vagina then I don't see any need to want to go the milky way. And certaintly if he wants to, it doesn't really bother me all that much, but slow entry is a must!

Okay, now that I've grossed out any readers that I may have, I'm really sorry!