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Fri Sig Chi, drunk, jeff, cyber sex
13 May 2000
I'm drunk I'm impressed that I can even type. Good ol typing class, huh. Typing feels funny. Like a machine, like some innate knowledge even though it isn't. I should just go to bed, i'm tired, I should be. Tonight was...I don't know. Anti-climatic, I suppose, but not really. I thought cuz it was warm, it didn't rain, and it was a Friday that there would be a good showing for the afterhours at sigma chi. But infact it was dead. Or not dead so much, that it was just SO hot outside, that people opted to stay on the patio instead of move onto the basement dance floor. I understand that, but still it make it kind of suck. I came there to dance, not to randomly socialize with peeps out on the patio. I wasn't gonna drink beer either, but once I got there and saw my miserable conditions, I figured I could at least get a buzz, and just not think about it. I drank two beers pretty quickly but didn't get much out of it. My boy Jeff found me. What a cutie. What a sweety. You know, even with that whole Julia thing, he was "mine" from day one. That's right. <--that's one of my fave sayings :) So we (my girl Heidi and I) danced a little. Had a small collection of fuzzie girls there. Actually, two girls from my floor came. Too bad, they left after like 30 minutes. I was kind of embarressed. Here I am trying to sell greek, and they come to this super dead party. Whoo hoo. I mean it really wasn't dead, just...well people were outside, instead of being inside. Oh well. I'm not too worried. I probably would have been ready to leave, except well Heidi was hoping for another hook up from her guy, and I was sort of too. Besides a week long commitment to Sigma Chi, has left us pretty dependent on them ;) Heidi and I are sitting outside chillin'. I could sit there forever. I could find a couch, and lie down and sleep forever. The two beers had almost no effect on me, and basically my body was run down, and tired. Jeff comes over and I motion for him to sit down, and he does. We're talking. He says there are shots again. Well. Decide, why not just try to get really "faded" (as Chris would say ;) since there doesn't seem to be much more to do. I had 5 shots. There was this purple stuff that I nicknamed "dimatap" I know I can't spell it, it's that elixer cough drop/cold medicine. And anyway, they adopted it and we called it that all night long. It was pretty good. I also had a (buttery nipple?) the buterscotch thing, and this clear liquid--blackberry something or other. Not too shabby.
Slut! Slut! Slut! Jeff hangs around as me and Heidi dance. I'm glad. We decide to go, and he walks us home. We're standing outside my dorm talking. Talking. Sweet guy. We kiss. Oh what the hell. I give him my number too. I'm wrong. That's basically all I can say about that. I'm just plain wrong. And I don't care! I'm an immature girly. That's right, faded and careless. A player, a cheater.... He's so my type though. How can you want two people like this at the same time? Wasn't it Ann Landers that told me it just shouldn't be so? I think, what's scary. Is a part of me, wants to try out this terrible lie just to see how far i could go with it. That would be awful. In the end i would just hurt two people, well three, i'd hurt myself, and mix up a lot of stuff, and you know it would never work out or anything, it's a silly idea, but it's almost in a stupid, movie-like way, kind of exciting just to imagine trying, because i'm not like that. So yeah, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm kind of curious to see Chris' reaction if I told him, what I've done. I think I will tell him. He should know. Well, actually I don't know if he should, but, well maybe I won't. I don't know. I don't know anything. Haha, being drunk. I just had cyber sex a minute ago. Way to go aglaia, I think I've improved. Last time I did that was in the 8th grade. Lol, I am so.....yeah.
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