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officialized girlfriend and spirituality

29 September 2000

Hi. Like, what's up? I am so mellowed out over here. So about a week ago, when I went out and got really drunk that last Thursday? I have an update...I actually had seven shots of that stuff and at least two shots of something else, as well as a pitcher of beer.

In the time of one hour.

(like woah.)


I went again last night after work. Obviously not as much fun this time around. ;) But it was okay. But it's good to have "comfort" people around, and I really didn't feel like I had that. There's a new girl at work, Jaimee. She's a doll I think I'm going to like working with her. Shelby was SO drunk this time, as well as this other girl Julie, and when you're not like "yadda yadda yadda..." right on with them, it's just not as fun. ;)

I'm turning into Buddy's listening ear, and the boy is just too old for me, I hope he doesn't like me.


I went over to SC on Wednesday after the OAR concert to see Jeff. We finally got some alone time, and we were just messing with each other like usual in his room, and he's showing me his muscles (haha, yeah right, my boy is too thin for any of that, ;) But we were just joking, and I said something like, "woah, are you going to beat me up?" And he replied, "no, I would never beat up my girlfriend."

Hehe, sigh.

I feel so giddy and middleschool-ish, it's wonderful. I was reading in someone else's diary, I can't remember which one now, and she was saying how you get so wrapped up in your own feelings and what's going on with you that you forget there's another person. Maybe he, himself was all giddy and excited when Heidi called him my boyfriend.

Haha, nah.


La, but anyway, there's my confirmation, and either way it was still cute to hear him call me that.

Then we went on to have some great sex!

Haha, no really. We hadn't had sex since like the 14th and I don't know about him, but my body was definitly pleading for some action. So yaa, for sex.


I'm addicted again. I want to see him everyday. Of course, now that he's my boyfriend why not. Haha. I'm so dumb.

Okay, I'm bored. Maybe I should go do some homework or something? (nah.)


I was asked by seaveeb , �What does spirituality mean? He�s curious to see how people answer, and if everyone has the same idea, or if we all carry our own meaning of the word spirituality.

I think, the first thing that comes to me when I think of spirituality, is myself. Spirit, soul, it�s about your own personal life force really. That spot inside of yourself that creates the you, the human you, our humanity. Most definitely spirituality is not about religion. You may be spiritual and religious, but they are two different things. Back to it being about yourself, I think spirituality is a soul-centered thought belief. What you think about yourself in relation to the world.

It�s a personal thing.


Of course I would have to go more in depth to discuss what exactly does my spirituality consist of, but I�m not sure if seaveeb wants that.

It�s about finding my connection with the world. It�s about recognizing truth. Your personal truth? Of course what is truth, and is there truth? I think I�ve come to believe that it�s all truth, just twisted at different angles that you must continually keep moving a step over in thought to see it.

I believe that we are all One. One spirit, if you will. A soul pushed through a strainer and out comes all these pieces, lost, disconnected. If we could really remember we would realize we already know everything, and everyone, and there is never a need to feel alone or to feel confused. But we�re just pieces to the bigger ultimate puzzle.

God.







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