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bitch, moan, and cry some more

09 July 2002

I'm sorry but i go over there everynight, and he can't sleep here one time? I spent everynight at his place my whole junior year. I think i might have slept at my house maybe five times the whole time i lived there. And that's fine, I couldn't have boys sleep over, and I always wanted to see him anyway.

But now i finally have a summer place where he's welcome to sleep at and i'm still going over to his house every night. And do I really mind? I guess not, it's almost part of the pattern everynight, but it is frustrating when i'm tired and i don't feel like going there, and then he says he feels lazy and he won't come over here. And he finally whines or makes me feel guilty so i'll go over there (i'm leaving in two minutes). Or it's too hot here he says and he won't be able to sleep (yeah, and why did i give you MY room AC?) And i'm all emotional as is, i could really use my boy here to comfort me. I'll probably cry myself to sleep just because.

Besides it's hard to sleep without him just because he has become such a habit, having him there. I'm afraid spooning my bear just won't cut it.


So i'm not really enjoying my summer. I feel like i'm working myself to death for nothing. I got a new serving job and it sucks. I'm not making any money (i worked 11AM-10:30PM and made 63 dollars)---and you should at least make 100 dollars on a double. BTW, all you fucking assholes that come out to dinner, eat 80 dollars worth of food and drink tell me "good job" and leave 10 dollars need to stay home and learn how to tip. Thanks for ruining every server's life you've eaten under. God, don't people know we make no money? Do you realize that if you leave ONE DOLLAR over 20 percent, you have made us so rediculously happy that it's really worth the effort to leave it?

And thank you miss so and so who feels the need to sit at my table for three hours, eating a salad and a water and leaving me two dollars, i really appreciate that. Next time why don't you join the others that come in 5 minutes after closing, demand to be served, then stick around for another 2 hours, and then leave a shitty tip, because i like them too.

I'm crying.

I'm....tired. God, i'm just PMSing, frustrated, annoyed, and everything else. I wanna have some fun. No, or not even that, i want to make some money, i want to be worth my time. I need to be learning something.

I'm so useless. God i feel so useless.

I'm crying, i better go. Sorry this one was so depressing state route...and in an unrelated story i ended up with two A- and one A.






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