I have suffered from headaches and painful heart palpitations since the fifth grade. I've had the heart checked a couple of times (EKG, heart monitor) but nothing has resulted. Everyone keeps saying I'll just grow out of them but at age 27 no luck so far.
After the TMJ diagnosis and the NTI retainer treatment the daily, chronic headaches subsided but I still go through bouts of major headaches that are just unbelievably painful. I will occasionally get migraines which is a completely different level of pain.
I continue to think there is a link between the heart issues and the headaches. I usually have pain in my heart when I have the palpitations but even if I don't I can feel when it's not beating right. The beat almost feels electrified and I can visualize the pops and bursts. I feel those bursts in my head, matching the throb, the pulse of pain of my headache.
I don't think stress causes the palpitations or the headaches but it definitely makes it worse.
Hormones on the other hand...I think they're playing a big part. It would make sense on why I just feel crappy all the time if things are imbalanced. And definitely, with my menstrual cycle I can tell a difference when things are crazy. Since going on Seasonale I feel A LOT better. It used to be that the week before my period I would feel crappy, then the week of my period I would feel awful, and then the "recovery" week where I would go back on the pill would be an adjustment phase where I would feel better, but still crappy.
Yes, that's leaves one week a month where I would actually feel okay. And of that week I think I would have maybe 2-3 days where I would actually feel GOOD.
Do you know how ridiculous that is to feel bad that much? That *NOT* having a headache was so rare and special you almost couldn't appreciate it for fear you would get one?
Seasonale helps a lot....what's odd, is even though you're only getting your period once every three months I will still have one week a month where I experience PMS-symptoms...even though I'm not actually having a period. BUT, the symptom are a lot more managable. I definitely get emotional, have stronger headaches, crabby, and...oddly, sore. I just feel achy. But even with all that...it's less than the full blown thing.
Now, with Seasonale, the week I'm off the pill...I'm a disaster. I experience the most intense headaches. My doctor wrote me a prescription for Frova but I haven't seen where that has helped at all. Nothing helps. I've tried Excedrin, Midol-headaches, and nothing. Even smoking, ahem, illegal substances, doesn't help. I feel a little more mellow and not as focused on the pain but I'm still...in pain.
It's my friends birthday party tonight and I haven't seen her in forever. I told everyone I was going but I don't feel good. I didn't feel good last weekend--a girlfriend from out of town was visiting, with VIP passes to a really awesome music festival and instead I spent it at home. In bed. Miserable.
I think, on top of just physically not feeling well, it sucks that no one really understands what you're going through. I just feel like....all my friends think I just don't want to go out.
I go through these bouts of depression and anxiety and more and more this social fear. Not exactly, scared to leave my house, but...well, yeah, I guess just overly-consumed with what people think about me and it drives me insane, more anxious, and it's just easier to not go out at all. Combine this with my natural desire to just be a home-body, and/or when I don't feel good, so I don't want to go out.
I joke about my anti-social behavior, but I feel like, it might be turning into a problem. Usually, when it comes to Jeff or my family I don't really worry about what they think. What I'm concerned about now...is when I start to worry about what they do think. They're my only source of non-judgment (at least in my head). So, when that crumbles, I'm scared...of what that will do to me. Worrying about if my mom is disappointed in me. Or if Jeff is disgusted in me.
Those are really dark, abusive thoughts and they make me even more vulnerable and when I don't have anyone to turn to because I'm so scared of what they think of me...it's very isolating and not healthy. And I want to talk to my doctor about it but....then I think she's judging me too.
Haha, it's really sad. I don't know what to do about it.
