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Giggling my night away to sleep

29 March 2000

I love to slip just my eyes, out from under the sheets, of my bed and dream of what I am, who we are, to talk to God. It seems as of late I've spent my nights passing into zzz's giggling myself to sleep. I'm not sure what is causing these frissons of my life, but i suppose I can't complain.

I walked down the hall, and once reaching the bathroom, I was terribly entertained with making faces at myself in the mirror, and talking to myself.

I just seem to get weirder and weirder.


I love how it just takes one comment, or one glance, and you plant a seed in someone's mind of the type of person you are.

Vibes.

I hope I send good vibes. I really love my theater class, and I've only been two times. I think the people there are going to be really great, I'm excited for it. I fear it. I can feel this cautius Oh god, don't make me get in front of the class and do improv. for you! feeling. Everytime we start a new exercise, I tense up, waiting for it. I'm sure it will come, but in the meantime, I'm happily content to play group grames and activities.

I told a girl I liked her beads. She completely lit up, it was so nice. Then she started hanging out with me during the class stuff, ha, my new best friend ;) It's so easy to forget that compliments can do wonderous things. There's a guy Ben in the class who I've got a "connection" with. Yeah, he totally wants me.

Just kidding, no...actually I'm not, but it is kind of funny to just kind of know you have someone's attention like that. He has really pretty blue eyes. She has really pretty green eyes...my new "best friend" that is. They're definitly green, but they're so light. Like limes, like fading grass, I can't define, explain...they matched her beads.

I run into Adam going into Econ, and we sit together. Somehow I made the conversation into previous people we've dated and whatever. It was funny, how I started almost every guy i've been with recently as, "okay he was really weird, and interesting, and completey into philosophy--which i really love and...." And every time, I realized how it sounded like i was trying to hint at him. I always forget he's a philosophy major. It's funny, because I've never talked philosophy with him. Here, a philosophy major, and instead I try to spurt abstract ideas...ideals on to my closed and sleeping friends, and I completely miss those who have already been awakened.

My body is sending my such strong signals, i must be in my prime, i can't stop fantasizing, daydreaming; i'm a mess full of dreams and stories. Unlived visions tales.

Well not all unlived. I have such a good life. With much love, God.


"Not all those who wander are lost."--Tolkien






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