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Aglaia Finished a Marathon!
19 October 2008
I'm surprised I haven't been writing more. Perhaps I jumped over the stress mark where even writing it down seems like too much.
I completed a marathon last Sunday! It still seems surreal that I completed it. I think in part I felt a little removed from the experience. There was so much focus on just going or just doing that I missed out on really getting to look around and say "I Did It"!
I have a heart issue where I get strong palpitations, usually with pain. I've had them since 5th grade and they range from a slow and hard beat, to fast and hard, to light and fluttery (so quick it makes you feel faint). The pain is usually under my left breast but sometimes I can feel it pulsating in other parts of my body. Frequently I can feel it in my neck or on my ear, and in my head (as in, a headache pulsating at the same beat of the palpitation). But, it can show up anywhere and that is where the pain is. The worst ones come in quickly with a BANG. It's like lightning striking my heart and the pain is sharp and fierce and breaks open like a firework with every breath I take. They're usually followed by the fast and hard palpitation with anywhere from an ache to a throb in my chest.
If that sounds scary it's because it is. I've had my heart looked at before on a couple of occasions (most recently in 2004)and they keep telling me that they can't find anything wrong and that hopefully I'll just grow out of them. My mom said she used to get them when she was little and two of my siblings have had them on occasion. I seem to be the only one who has them regularly and with pain.
Luckily, most don't start with a bang. There is always pain but usually it's a low key throb. It�s uncomfortable but manageable.
I very rarely get a heart palpitation when I'm being active. It's usually when I'm sitting down and it doesn't seem to have any relation to stress or anxiety --I could be reading a book, sitting down for dinner, at the grocery store, etc. On the rare occasion they've happened while I being active out I usually just stop.
It's strange when you can feel a palpitation on top of a heart that is already [naturally] beating harder than usual. It's almost as if I can feel two layers of the heart beating.
Two weeks before the marathon I experienced them while completing my long run. It was pretty terrible. All I wanted to do was focus on my running and that struggle, not worrying about my heart exploding out of my chest. I was about six miles away from my home when they occurred. I tried to run through them but it got so bad that I actually felt faint and could feel myself losing my vision. I sat down and tried to recover but had to sit down shortly after I got up. I spent the rest of the time doing a half-jog and walk until I made it back. The palpitations never let up.
I don't normally think of the palpitations as being caused by stress --they seem to come and go which made me think it was more hormone related. But, it does seem that stress/anxiety might make them more frequent. When one of my doctor's had prescribed anxiety medicine years ago it had seemed silly. It wasn't as if I was experiencing panic attacks. I would get the palpitations during no-stress moments. I still don�t know if it�s actually a stress time. I�m beginning to wonder if it might have a stronger role than I thought.
At mile six during the marathon my heart began to act up. It was such a disappointment because I was hoping to make some good time through the first half to make up for any slow down and walking that may take place during miles 14-26. But, already at mile six I was taking walk breaks. I was so crushed and I didn't know what to do. My heart was really bothering me and it's hard to run when it�s beating so fast and it hurts! I tried to just keep going as best as possible. They let up, somewhat at mile 12, coming and going but by then my speed had already been affected.
BUT, on the positive side the rest of the marathon went pretty well. Although the weather was warm I didn't start to feel noticeably hot until mile 23 and that's only because there was no shade from that point on. You were running in a wide street of sunshine.
Surprisingly my lower back was hurting the most. I don't know if I was holding my body more rigidly than usual but it was aching pretty bad and didn't stop for a couple of days.
My parents came up to watch which was pretty awesome. It was really nice for them to be so supportive and spend the day going from stop to stop just to stand there and watch me go by! Jeff was also very sweet and doing his rounds at different places. Seeing him around mile 14 was a lot of fun (for some reason miles 14-15 have traditionally been my worst miles--not this time)!
I never hit a "wall" or had any major pain issues (besides the heart and back). I could feel my legs getting heavy the last 5 miles or so but I think you just expect that after the distance! Coming up on the finish, I admit to having walked a good portion of mile 26 (not nice putting a major hill right at the bend before the final .2 miles!) but I came in at 4 hours 51 minutes which met my "less than 5 hours" goal! :-)
It felt....great to have finished but I don't think I felt the elation that I expected. Perhaps, because in part, when you finish a long distance like that (or I should say, when *I*) finish a long run I'm usually not feeling so good. Queasy, a little delirious, feet and leg pain start to creep up, you're hot and cold at the same time, wet, and chafed�..
I made my way through the finishing chute and took the wrong way out and had to retrace my steps back to the finish to cross over to the other side where I took another journey...it felt like I walked another hour to get back to my tent where my parents and Jeff were stationed. Ha, I'm sure I looked a mess because I couldn't walk straight and kept dropping my banana they gave out at the end. It�s practically impossible to bend down to pick something up without having your legs lock up so I had to keep asking people to pick it up for me! My entire body hurt so even the medal on my chest that would hop with each step was hurting when it banged against me.
It felt great to have accomplished it. I'm a little bummed about the heart thing but I feel good knowing that if I were to do it again I have a good chance of beating my time. I figured a 4:15 was the best I could have done and I had been hoping to come in around 4:30. But, ultimately, I wanted the experience to be low stress because I know how depressed I get when I don't meet some internal expectation. Five hours was the goal. I didn't want to run longer than 5 and so I *was* happy with my time.
For better or worse I had already signed up for a 15K on November 2nd so I still have to keep going for that. I only ran once this past week. I had people in town, plus was working late so it didn't leave a lot of time to get out. But, I'm hoping to get in a mid-week long run to keep my legs fresh, plus get out there and get used to running in cooler weather. All my races have been in Spring/Summer weather so I want to be prepared if it's really cold out.
So that�s it, I�m a marathoner now!
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