Why should I have to? I read punishment is really useless when you push it on someone, because the person never learns because they never really feel (or believe, or understand...) that what they originally did was wrong. Punishment..or consequences should come around naturally to make their mark.

But what mark? So I'm 19 years old and I have a curfew? I just...I can't understand her reasoning. I mean, I can understand a curfew...but a curfew at 3am? It can't possibly be preventive (drugs, alcohol, sex.) Not like an earlier one would work either. By this age, I'm pass being impressionable. I mean for the most part. I've formed my ideas, my beliefs, my values. Or even what I'm still developing, you can't regulate it. I'm not trying to be "bad" or "rebel" but I mean, if I'm out and having a good time, I think it's understandable that I would want to stay there.

I'm still going to work. They know I make good grades, and they know I stay out as late as I want to when I'm at school.

My mom gave me a lecture the other day (I've been coming home late quite frquently lately). She told me that I needed to worry about my reputation and such. Please. His parents don't even know I'm there most of the time. And even if they did--would it matter? Even if they *knew* we were having sex, I mean, that's my choice. We're both over 18, and together. I'm not some random girl.

And she continued on with [the "shocking" decision that...]her daughter decided to have sex at such a young age and---is she serious? I had sex when I turned 19. I mean, look around at most girls in relationships in society and they are having sex. Not all, and I know a lot of virgins, so it's not like everyone is having sex, because a lot aren't. But really now, a young age? Like I don't want to downplay it or anything, but she almost can be sort of happy that I waited as long as I did. I'm not saying this is necessarily right either, but these days girls are having sex by the time they turn 14 or even earlier.

"Call me old fashioned, but...." she says--but where is this all coming from? I was never told that she wanted/expected me to wait until I was married to have sex. Infact, there was no "sex talk" when I was little. Nothing at all. I learned everything from health class and media and others. No guidance there. After I had already had sex she did say that she had hoped I would have waited until marriage, but really didn't expect me to. So what's up?

What's going on here? I feel like the only purpose the curfew has is this power over me. This "live under this house, live under my rules" kind of thing. But why? My dad thinks it's silly, why won't he back me up?

Well, it's almost 5:00 I'm going to bed.

Will I get another talk tomorrow? I don't know. I don't know what she can do to me. I don't know what she will do.

Can I tell you something though?

I like Jeff.

(a lot. :)