13 June 2000

Ah, an afternoon entry. Do you think you're better off alone? Not really, Alice DJ. Talk to me, oohh, ohh, talk to me. Ok. :)

I was a little computer wizard last night. Found all these random MP3s all over this family computer, went Mp3.com searching and found some new artists. Transferred files, invented folders, rearranged stuff, ordered, put quick links to our desktop. Yeah, I'm smart. :) BTW, I'm "station satellite" over at MP3.com, if you'd like to hear some variety. I'm not really sure what all I have in there. It's probably crap. :)

It always seems strange....to not feel strange...when I'm at a different point in my life. I mean, I'm out of college, and I'm right into a summer lazy groove, like I never left it. Bounce from computer to computer, playing ancient games like "Civilization" being a "slambook" junkie on the 'net, Instant Messaging to old friends, and going to the movies again.

I went out with some "dork patrol" kids from high school. It was just a friendly phrase, we would laugh that they/we were dorks because they were smart, but they're not dorks at all, they're actually fabulously cool. So I went out with some of that gang and we went and saw Road Trip. It was just an okay movie, but i laughed a lot through it, so not a waste of money or anything :)

We're cliches. It kind of makes me sick. I didn't want to share stories of being drunk, and being fools in college. (Even though we did). I'm not sure if I want to hear stories about my sweet Cynthia being a regular weed girl (even though I don't think there's anything wrong with that.) Is that really all we have to share? Stories of drugs and alcohol to old friends? Surely, we learned something else while we were in college didn't we?

And I guess we've changed, but it didn't feel like we had changed. We were just a bunch of kids going to the movies again like we always used to do. Except I guess Cync and Paul went back to (one of their houses) with some other folk and played drinking games. That might have been interesting. Perhaps Paul and some of the guys may have drinked a little in high school anyway. I did as well on a couple of occasions, but I never got to a point where I could "feel" it, so I don't think they count. :) But I don't want alcohol to be a necessary.

The problem with being in my house all day long, with nothing really to do, is that it lets my mind wander, and I think about Jeff a lot. Not that that's bad, but I do sort of feel like a hormone filled middle schooler, who's all hyper about seeing her "crush" at school or something. I want to talk to him, I want to see him, I want to be with him.....

Which all feels a little "emotionally connected" and I don't want to involve myself to a point of being hurt. Because I don't like being hurt.

So after the movies, I call him. I get voice mail, and leave a message. I play my guitar for awhile. I even start making up a song. I believe the words were "He never calls, he never calls...." Lol. I'm pathetic. :)

He calls about 5 minutes later, says he just closed up shop, but left his car keys inside the store...and the store's alarm is on. (Hmmm.) I feel like I'm always calling him, talk for two minutes then end it like, "uuuh, I guess I should let you do whatever you gotta do, because you're busy, bye...." which is sort of how this one went. He asks me if I want him to call when he gets home. (Sure, do that.)

He calls me not too longer later, he's driving. Asks me if I want to come over, and gives me directions to his house. He lives like 5 minutes away from me (if even that), it's awesome.

I haven't made an appointment to get on birth control yet. But I already had two months worth full of pills from Nicole and Kyla, whom for some reason were giving me their pills when I was still a virgin. Nicole suggested I started on one of them while we waited to get an appointment. I never felt like taking them because...who's to say if/when I'll actually be having sex again?

But on Sunday I started them.

The package says I should wait a week before having sex.

My mom doesn't know I have them. She told me to abstain, until I was on the pill, and had taken a month's worth of 'em. I told her okay.

But I figured if the opportunity was supplied to have sex before then....I'd probably take it. I know condoms aren't the most safest thing. But I'm a horny teen, and I don't want to say no. Haha.

No sex for me though...it's that time of the month anyway. So I go over to Jeff's, his younger brother is hanging out with us like we're his best friends, hehe. It's kind of funny, because his brother is only 17 but he's so tall, it makes him seem like he's older than Jeff. Jeff is tall himself though. But anyway. We watch some tv, then decide to get a movie.

Cuz that's what Jeff and I always do.

We go to Block Buster and pick up Three Kings. I'm the movie queen, I've seen everything, he's seen nothing. I thought it was a good flick first time around (Clooney and Mark Walbergh (sp?) are a great duo) so I picked it up.

We watched it in their family room, I think his brother wanted to watch it with us. Hehe, I didn't care, if he wanted to he was welcome. But he decided not to.

I used to watch movies with my sister and her boyfriend. Goodness I was a dork, didn't i know any better? Hehe, they were probably like, "leave girl!" but I didn't have a clue, and I adored my sister and her friends.

So we watch the movie, staying consistant with our "watch a movie, don't touch each other" past, we just sit on a couch and watch it. The couch is kind of pressed up against the side of the wall, perpindicular to the wall that is facing forward with the tv, so it's kind of a funky angle. Eventually at some shift of body sitting, I just pull him back towards me, so he's sort of sitting...in my lap, just leaning back into my arms, with me leaning against the arm of the couch.