13 December 2002

I think I would like a new layout. Any takers? Please contact me here. I have gotten so many gross google hits about "grandma and grandpa doin' it" from my heading. I really need to change that!

So, the quarter is finished out. I think I did pretty well. My women's studies final was quite painful. I mean, I looked it over and I didn't know where to start. I had to ID 8/10 she gave us, and I kind of knew five, had no clue about 2, and so I had to hardcore BS through all that. Then I go to the essay q's and I have to choose 3/4 available, and....I couldn't really answer any of them. I knew bits and pieces of each, but not enough to write an essay I would be proud of. Grr, so I just started writing, and making up a lot of stuff. It's embarressing. I'm just hoping the teacher likes me...and, hey, I had a 100% going into the final, she'll give me an "A" right?

I could potentially get straight A's, but I don't know how likely that is. I think i figured that if I did perfect on my paper and final for this one class i could get an A- (and I think I will get A's on both), but who knows...I seem to get lucky when it comes to these things!

Have I said how much I love my boyfriend? He's so absolutely beautiful to me. We work at the same restaurant and it's amazing how much I miss him when he's not there. I just like being with him. I mean all the time, I just like him there. He is, such a good friend, and good company. And I'm sure everyone who's ever been in love, feels like they are experiencing something unique and original to them only, but it really does feel like that sometimes. Love. It's such a weird, human, feeling. And I've heard other languages have many different words for 'love' and I wish the English language did as well, because there are so many different ways to love someone, or just different phases or levels. It's all very interesting.

Just when you think you can't possibly love someone more...you do. And it doesn't really make sense, and I wish there was some way to sit down and study it, because...I don't know, it's just interesting how some people just click and then others don't.

I didn't really have any good ideas for Jeff for Christmas so I'm going to do a variation of last year. Last Christmas I bought him a bunch of small gifts then gave him a huge stocking with all these gifts just pouring out of it. I think it worked pretty well. But I don't have just one major thing I'd like to get him, but I do have little ideas here and there.

I think I'll buy him a record carrier (he spins), because right now all of his records are just sitting in crates. Then I can just wrap all my little gifts and put them inside of it. Lol...ah, I bought him a flask online and I received it today. I couldn't stop laughing/smiling, it is *so* cheesy, because I had it engraved with our pet name. But I'll think he'll like it. I should buy some liquor to fill it probably....

I started an internship today. It's with my city's realtor association and I'll be assisting the dir. of development that does all their meeting planning. It may be interesting. The woman is a friend of my mom's so that's how I got the job. It's non-pay, but hopefully I'll actually learn something from it. The woman is really adorable though. Haha, she seems like someone I could just sit down and talk to. It's weird, though, to know that everything I say to her, will probably at some point work its way back to my mom.

I feel bad because this entry in particular isn't all that interesting and I just signed a bunch of guestbooks today as I was visiting, and now they'll have to see THIS!

Haha, well, how about sex then?

So, I've been doing kegel exercises and if you can believe it--they really work! Whew, my orgasms are definitly coming on *a lot* stronger. It's such a strange feeling, because I can really feel my muscles contracting. AND, I don't know if that is related, but I felt like I got really close to orgasming through sex the other night.

It's frustrating, because I know I enjoy sex, but it would make it better if I could orgasm from it. And I have before, it just takes so much mental effort to really think about it all, that it's like I have to lie motionless as he....well, does his thing. And that's not any fun, I don't want to just lay there and not do anything just so I can orgasm; and even though he'd probably be okay with that, becaue I know he wants me to enjoy myself, I would feel self-conscious just laying there, haha, concentrating.

But I still believe one day, I'll figure out the "trick" and then orgasming won't be so difficult.

Speaking of orgasms, when I was studying for finals--or actually whenever I try to study I get really horny! I don't know if that's just because I'm all antsy and doing anything else sounds more like fun than studying, but I probably came like 12 times a day just studying for everything. Lol. Okay, that's enough.