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A dirty penetration fantasy

26 January 2014

Yesterday I ran a half-marathon. In January. In the cold. Ah yes, the 'effin half and not only did I show up and survive the negative windchill, the 26 MPH winds, the snowy, icy grounds, I....I got a personal best? Hard to believe I actually just got a PR. Apparently I can run really fast when I want to finish and get back inside where it's warm!

So after the run I go home and take an epsom salt bath (which are amazing if you are a runner!). My thoughts start to wander back to this Thought Catalog entry that was about anal sex. The author was a man but he basically said if you plan on having anal then you should know what it feels like to have [something] up your ass. I loved it. It also got me thinking....

I've been in major hormone mode and I am obsessively thinking about sex lately. Like I'm a 16 year old boy and it's just constantly on my mind. Every person I meet or hangout with I think about what it would be like to have sex with them. I am fantasizing about guys, girls, threesomes, it's getting a little out of control. Lately, I keep getting this urge to...well, have anal. I know, coming from the girl this is just so bizarre. I think because my fantasies are centered around double-penetration so of course anal has been getting some major play but it has been years since J and I have done it and I wasn't sure if I was just being swept away in the fantasy side of it.

I decided to take the author's advice and see if I still wanted to...really go there. I am in the bathroom and I stick my thumb up my butt. Oh yes, I went there. And it felt...nice. I decided I wanted to try more. I was a little squeamish about it but I think when you can get over it and just accept this as another part of your body that really helped me get mind over matter.

Later that evening I was listening to my theta meditation disc and was feeling extremely horny and since I had the privacy of a quiet, dark room I decided to be a little adventurous. I have this vibrator that I bought online but don't like it so I went with that as my tester. For awhile I just had it up against my ass just pressing. Unfortunately, without the vibe turned on...I didn't want J to hear it! I was so wet, just lost in the sounds and lost in fantasy. I originally intended to use lube but just used my own wetness over the vibe before pressing it up against my butt. ...and it just started to slowly slide in, then deeper, until it was all the way in. The tightness of it. I was so incredibly turned on and I came really hard. I loved the way I could feel the orgasm through my muscles pressing against the dildo. I can only imagine the thrill a guy feels from this.

I tried it again tonight. Another awesome orgasm. I know people always say to use a lot of lube but I didn't before and it doesn't look I need it now either. I think the key is to wait until you're right up on that feeling, where you're really turned on, before trying. And going slow. Really, really slow.

Actually, in terms of being slow I also keep thinking of this guy's video. I wish every guy would watch this video on how to give a woman a clitoral orgasm. Everything he says is right on. Especially the end when a woman is about to come if I just wish J would slow way, way down. In fact, he could probably just stop and apply pressure and that would help me go over the edge.

So anyway, I'm not sure what to do with this new found feeling. I feel awkward bringing this up with J.

I can't wait to try it again. This time with a true DP. At least, with vibes. The idea of doing this with two guys sounds so incredibly intimate and amazing.

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