September 1, 2000

Oh sweet diaryland, coma estas? Or like, whatever you know?

I swear my mexican busser keeps saying, "hello, my love" when I walk through the door. Guy has it in his mind that I want his body or something. nuh uh. But anway. It's cuz I was the friendly host, with the twinkle in my eye "reserved" for each wonderful person who walked through my restaurant's door.

But speaking of hosts, I've got another girl who rivals my beauty. Dear Beau will have another lady friend to adore. All is well, I tell you. (The girl is a doll, please forgive me for my vain nature, i'm partly playing over here, ya know? ;) I now I have kitchen people talking to me. (Not that this has anything to do with Beau, but more inline with people "friendly" harassing me--which *does* relate to Beau. ;) But I digress, (like I don't even know what that means)--oh geez, can you tell I'm hyper?!

So, kitchen kids. Yeppers, he was squirting me with a "home-made" ketchup holder, water gun. I even participated in some "behind the line" action. But you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. And I dont really know either. Ok, so....

Diary, journal, life and stuff, what has been happening? Not so much anything. Insaneness at work. Our computers decided to shut down and crash Tuesday night around 6:00. I found myself laughing hysterically in the side-station. It was actually pretty funny. But I laugh when I'm scared.

And boy, was I scared. We are a computerized generation. The restaurant is completely computer based. The tickets, the credit cards, the cashing out, the everything. I'm sure it was great and ran smoothly back in the "old days" but for a staff trained to use computers, there was no "know-how" or protocol for what to do. I was screaming, "close the restaurant, help us, close!" Because people didn't seem to care that their food was uh, "...never going to come up." as I basically flat out/and partly joked to a table that just sat down.

I wanted to say, "Go there. I bet their computers are working. Great service. Good food. Good times. (Goodbye?)" But not so.

It sounds simple, and if you don't work in a restaurant, then you probably don't understand. Because looking from the outside--big deal, you have to hand write orders, and do rubbings of credit cards, but---

It's not just writing down an order. Because you have to have a copy for yourself, and then when you take the order down to the kitchen, it needs to be in computer code so they can read it, and then there's four different food windows, that normally the computer will send copies of your ticket to. They then dish up the order, and put it in the window (when done) along with a special "window" colored slip of paper. When each window has a slip out on it, you know it's time to take up your food.

Well, you would take down your slip of paper. And one window would see it, and do that section of your order (say...the fryer, and possibly the grill.) But down along the line where they were supposed to be coooking your steaks, or stir fry, er...not so much going on down there. So food took forever to come up. Then half of it would be hard, and over cooked (from sitting there so long, while other windows tried to catch up with orders) and bleh...a big mess.

Tickets being lost, then you had to rewrite the order out, with prices (uh, why aren't there any alcohol prices listed in the menus again??), figure in 5.75% tax, and *discounts* if they have them. And double bleh, if you take it out only to have a request for separate checks...(back to recalculate 5.75 again!)

Of course, bar drinks.....you had to write out those orders, tickets were being lost left and right...customers were mad (hey, we warned you ;) and everyone was adding up stuff wrong. (Hmmm, % percents, that was like 2nd grade, right?)

At about 10:15 computers were back up and we had to ring in all of our night's orders and re-do everything "don't make" to the kitchen, so stocking and numbers would be sorted out. Of course, this is where you would punch in the total and see that you charged them 24.56 and it was actually 38.00 dollars. (Um, la la la?)

Nah, actually I didn't have anything too bad. I had a couple of 40 cents differences. And then I messed up on two credit cards, where with one person I accidentally gave her the total (before) tax, and the other one, I was just plain off by like 5 dollars (in M&E favor, so I charged them more than it really was.) So I attempted to fix theirs. (On the DL the manager told me to ring the first one up under "carry-out" so it would be a tax-free number, and my total would now be "correct." And then with the other, I just charged the credit card a cheaper number (person can't complain about that ya know?--of course I kept the tip they named the same, so I think I made money off of that deal. ;)

Hah, I got a big-top and they were all like "uh, I think we're just gonna walk out" and that's when I had to start panic mode, "No no no! Half your food is uh, ready.."

(Yeah, we're just waiting for the other windows to figure out they need to be making my food too. ;)

Yeah, so I was on a double. I was on my period, and killer lower back pains hit about 2:30 that after noon (the kind where no medication, sleep or anything helps. It just plain hurts enough to make you want to scream and cry, and makes you queasy with pain.)

It was also my third double in a row. And I had managed to pull off a 13 hour shift Sunday, and 12 hours on Monday, so you can bet I'm a tired girl by this point. I get out of there around 11:15. I think I cried four times, yelled at other servers two times, and laughed hysterically...too many times to count.

So it was funny that I only had to be clocked in for an hour today and was on over time (I also worked wednesday morning.) Made pretty crappy money today, ruining my money streak, but all is well. I am up for potentially 30-35 hours of overtime this week (I've still got friday night, sat double and sunday double.) That's like 70 w o w hours of working. So no life, no anything.

Last night (sorry, assuming "today" is still Thursday even though it's technically very early Friday) I went to a cookout over at Kat's house. Her family hosted and tim and my family came. It was so incredibly awkward. I felt like I was at a family outing, and everyone was just forced to mingle. And the mom's hung out like it was the best times of their lives, while the dads sat in one corner sharing small talk, and all the kids sat in a "living room" and basically stared at each other because they don't know each other.

Do we?

Kat and I snuck away to chill by the pool, and we laughed and giggled, like good friends are supposed to. Join us up with her sister, my younger brother, tim and his brother Chris, we were just a mess. Kat, Chris and and I are fine with each other. Even add Jen into the equation (sp?). I always liked her a lot. (She's my "twin" if you will, we had half the school believing she was my twin sister--uh, even though she's a year younger ;)

But Tim. We don't know him at all. At least I didn't. Small talk, good luck in college. See Ya. (And I just said that I was in love with that guy a few entries back.) I tried to think about that comment as I stood and stared at him, and it all does start coming back. I really don't know who he is, right now. But I did know him, and hey, I'm still working on what love is, and how I choose to view it, so I don't really know anything, or understand feelings at all. I hope he does okay at school. And I would love it if we would still talk or what not. But last time we "talked" was through an email.

The one about me being "bad." Which is a joke, of course. Tim is your regular "bad teen boy" minus out the sex. (I think. ;) But you can never tell on that one,either. But since I know he spends his whole life away with his "boys" I'll just have to assume he's not having sex.....with them. Ha.

I think I made an eternal agreement with myself (not a vow, or a contract, just a "let's try to do this, okay?" kind of a thing) anyway, that I wouldn't call Jeff.

So he could call me. Or something? (Didn't work, I still called him ;) Besides the fact that I'm on my period, and when I want to have sex, I want to have sex, and it's like "blueballs" for girls, I'm telling you. Not that I'm this sex-hungry gal, but--

I've been really horny lately, so it's better to not even put yourself in that situation. :)

(So I had that crazy, cry-fest Tuesday night, I just had to call my boy, you know?) So, Jeff says he's trying to get people together, so I go over to his house around 11:00 and his two best friends--this chic Amy and "Cameron" are there.

Amy is so...it's funny, because before I went I couldn't decide what I wanted to wear. It wasn't really a "party" more just like a relaxed jeff-hangout. At the same time, with other people involved you want to base your clothing choices accordingly. No need to be slummin' it, if they're all in "party clothes".

Amy was black pants, and stretchy/tight quarter sleeved designed top. How very. (I play it basically casual, flair jeans, light blue t-shirt, that shows a lil belly if I don't hold it down ;) She's dirty though. Not, like unclean, just....she seemed very nice, hehe. I mean, I call these people, who fake tan until they look...dirty. C'mon, you know what I mean, right?! :)

So it was just funny to see that Jeff's best gal is a dirty girl. Dark hair, dirty skin. Oh well. She seemed kind of floaty. She was on the phone the whole time, couldn't stay to watch Magnolia--she only likes "happy movies" (aka "You've got Mail" she told me.)

They all have dark hair. Cameron, Jeff, Amy. My blond streaks just weren't fitting in. ;) So I wanted Amy's approval, being his best girl-friend and all, so I tried to appear charming and whatever. But I think the best I could manage was keeping a smile on my face (which probably just made me look shy) and a couple of weak questions, that even to me, just sounded like strange gasps of air coming out.

That sounds bad and dramatic. I just mean...you know when you realize you've been a part of a conversation--er, you realize you've been listening to a conversation between people, but *you* haven't actually said anything? Like you've just sat there, head turning to the one speaking, but never saying anything. Like all of a sudden I realized I just felt like an evesdropper, so I better throw my bit in there, to continue being "a part" and when I finally did speak, it was a croak, because my voice had been resting for so long.

That too was also way more dramatic that it was. I have no idea what I'm talking about. ;) So she was on the phone, Cam was just replaying the same scenes and reciting them (from Mall Rats) while jeff hopped around the room cleaning up stuff and commenting. Cam drinking a beer, Amy "spirits free" and jeff nursing a rum and coke. (Me doing the same. I think I made kind of a shady mix for myself, really having no idea what was "a lot" and what was just right/weak, and what not...)

I also, had to say a little prayer before I went in, because I didn't know what to expect from myself. I knew there would be drinking potentially, and I wasn't sure if I really wanted to drive drunk (er, buzzed, or anything!). Calculating my TIPS 5 hour meeting concerning alcohol and such, I knew for each drink it would require an hour to get it out of my system. But how likely was it that I would really do that?

So I think God saved the day by not making it an issue. I drank half a glass, then shelved it. I felt like I was a block though. Not soon after I arrived. Amy booked. Then Cam left like five minutes after her. That movie (Magnolia) would have been torturous to watch along with other people though. Besides, if I was somewhere with a friend and their "sigfig" other, I'd be outy as well. So we watched the movie (I'm still confused on if I liked it or not--or if it's terrible or genius, I think the lines blur) and we snuggled.

He blew kisses onto my stomach, and we kissed passionately at the end, unlike anything I've ever felt before. But it didn't go any further than that, and I left still dazed, as I drove home (to arrive on time, how nice :) singing happily how much I liked him. ;)

...addictions, addictions. I could see him everyday and be deliriously happy, but that's what I'm scared of. I don't want him to be a happiness-based, er, comodity (sp?) ? I want to enjoy our time together (and I do.) but I don't want it to be a, hey if I go see Jeff my day will be better (um, to the 10th degree :)--it's from I.Q. the movie). And it isn't necessarily a, "gee I feel bad, better go get a 'fix' of Jeff...." but I do find myself happier when I think about him, and I don't want to place all my expectations of (whatever) on him.

And if I want to see him, I should just go see him, but I don't know. Haha, I did find out something funny though. My sistah, Heidi's sig chi boy, hottie Josh I guess blocked her on AOL. That's too funny. Hmm, does that mean she won't support my obsession with TG sig chi nights now? Oh well.

It'd be fun if Jeff and I go into the school year enough that I find myself pretty good friends with other sig chi boys. Think of all the people I'll know from that? Branching out through the greek community is the best. I'm gonna have to try really hard to kind of network this year. I'm so weak on my other greek "family". I don't know any names, any types, any rumors or gossip. J/k. ;)

I think I should join another "club-ish" kind of thing to meet other kind of people. Hobbes commented that he wasn't really too keen on the greeks for a variety of reasons, but said in reply to my words that "joining, created this whole new world of people on campus" that, sure I may be meeting new people--but I'm meeting *only* greeks. What about the rest of the world?

I still stay that anyone could be in a sorority/fraternity. I've met enough of variety, and seen how (at least my sorority) works that anyone could find their niche here. But he may be right. I suppose even though anyone could sincerely be happy in the greek system, there's still a lot of people who choose not to do it for whatever reason. I plan on making it a big part of my life because I really do enjoy it.

But should I make it my life? Besides maybe I should attempt to activate and stimualate that supposed "activist" side of myself, and join say....Habitat for Humanity or something. (ugh, don't they start building Saturday mornings....?)

Haha, that's the lazy activist in me.

I don't know. I'll find something.