Well, tomorrow is my last day and I'm wondering if its even worth it. I have not lost any lbs and while i haven't checked I doubt I've loss any inches either. Hmm, I must be in that "rare" bottom percent of people that lose only a lb. or less. Yeah right. Don't worry, I'll have my own custom made weight-loss plan created for me by "Heather"...once I'm automatically enrolled in their payment plan of course.

The first day I did notice a lack of appetite. Which was great, because since I've been working out regularly for close to an hour I come home feeling starved. I didn't want to sabotage my work-out, but at the same time I was really listening to my body and I actually did feel hungry. So that has been the only noticable benefit.

Well, if you count feeling ditzy and loopy a benefit I suppose that was one too. I went to work a mess the second day. I felt like I was on drugs....I would be sitting in the corner folding napkins just laughing and laughing.....la la la.

I felt incredibly goofy and weird. My whole body was not cooperating and I kept making strange mistakes at work...like forgetting computer rules that I'm so used to I don't even have to think about them. And I was very emotional too. I felt very frayed and irritable as well. I don't know if that was the caffeine overload or what, but I didn't like it.

As for energy...I did not experience that. I never felt jittery really, but it made me pretty cranky...probably when I was coming down off my "high." (And maybe that's why I'm so tired now?) I had been taking the pills with food, but didn't tonight...so that could be why I'm queasy.

Bleh, well that's ok. I didn't actually think I would lose any weight, but it would have been fun to actually drop some pounds just out of nowhere. It is slightly depressing to know that for the past three weeks I have worked out regularly...and haven't lost anything. Shouldn't I have lost something? It's not like I'm pounding food or something, I'm eating my normal amount of food so I thought I should have lost...three pounds right?

So annoying. Not like there's any real need to lose weight, but I wouldn't mind it. Now that I have graduated from college and I have a degree (but stil no job) I feel like now I have this opportunity to do anything I want. I mean being practical didn't do shit for me, so why not be wild and idealistic? I always wanted to act so why not get some professional training? I want to do film too (who doesn't?) rather than theater, so I thought if I could lose 15 pounds I would save the money and at least try it.

People always tell me I should model which is flattering, but I know that in "real life" I look great but in "Hollywood" I'd probably be the big girl. J/k I wouldn't call me the big girl, but I mean you've got these women who are size 0's and I remembering reading somewhere that a size 6 looks big on TV!

I'm rambling. This is boring. I don't have anything to say. I am having a "down" period.

I want to walk out of my restaurant and never be there again. I am sick of people's crap. My patience is gone. I mean I have been in the food industry for six years. It's getting hard to smile and nod my head over the same old annoyances.

YES YOU...the one who came into my restaurant five minutes AFTER closing and then was mean and snotty, read a NEWSPAPER after you were done eating, and left a 10% tip after you hung out and kept me there making 2.13 an hour. I hate you.

Look, just don't go into a restaurant unless if it's an hour before closing. Let's say you work a typical 9-5, but at 4:55 the boss tells you to stay...but for free, and then doesn't tell you when you get to leave...until around 6-ish (or 7 or 8...)when he says you can go. Drive you insane huh? Well, that's what happens at the restaurant. Sure, some days you stay late at the office. That's fine, but it's awful when you don't have any tables you think you're leaving in a few minutes when the restaurant closes and then another person walks in.

Keep in mind I NEVER see a paycheck, I literally get a "void" on my check. I only make my tips. So if I have only ONE table at the end of the night (YOU) unless if you're paying me the big bucks you are a waste of my time. And since I'm there, I get to do shitty busy work so the boss doesn't see me standing around like re-polishing silverware that's already clean and beautiful. Go away, do not come in.

I could write a book on everything that a server has to go through and it's terrible. Every job comes with its own side that people don't see, I understand that, but I'm burnt out. I can't do this anymore.