What an interesting twist my cd-rom of life took last night. I think it's fascinating to think of the "could of's" and what not. I almost stayed in last night. I was ten seconds shy of writing K an IM to confirm a movie time for us to go catch a flick. I thought about calling R.
But I didn't.
Ky calls me and says that M (from last week's party) was having his own party and he wants me to go. So I say sure.
I like Ky's friends, just, I don't know them very well, and they don't really talk to me and I don't really talk to them. I hope over Spring Break we'll break some boundaries and I'll come back really cool with them. I don't see how I could go and come back with it still being the same. After a week of 24/7 seeing each other, we all should have some shared experience to laugh about!
So what did happen last night?
D R U N K!
Like, wow, drunk. I've never drank that much ever. I guess it was the hard liquour. And it's so funny, because at about 11:00 Ky was ready to go, and I was ready to head off too. (The party was kind of a bore, and i didn't feel like drinking 5 beers to get a buzz, because it's so nasty and it's empty calories and yadda yadda.) Of course we've got M on one side trying to lull me back in his apartment (we were hanging out outside the threshold about to leave.) And then this guy Matt who I guess is always trying to hook up with Ky (besides the fact she has a boyfriend!) was trying to get her to stay too.
While we're chilling outside, someone inside the apartment throws up. And choas explodes. Everyone is running around, inside and out. Be it, to get out of there cuz it's disgusting or to run around to help the sick guy or to clean it up....Ky's girls run outside and pee on the sidewalk (la la?), and everyone is just yelling and running every other way. Finally it calms down, the mess is cleaned up, and I think that could have been the death of the party, but instead, me and ky decide to wait it out so we can use the bathroom.
We come out and Ky decides she wants to stay. Um, okay.
But who wants beer when M confesses he has harder stuff? Ky takes some vodka and tells me to skip it. I have two shots of Rum 151. I start to feel it. Cool beans, nothing like two shots to get you buzzed. And I should have stopped, and I did....(I just went back later to get a third, and it's the third that did me in.) After that I'm hanging out in M's roommate's room--a lot of people are just chillin' in there listening to MP3's and stuff. We discuss Dave Matthews, I ramble and ramble on with this guy named "Jesse." <--I started physically "quoting" (if you will) every other word I say. (Believe me, it's addicting. ;) I don't know where Ky is I don't know where her girls are at. ("Where's my girls at, I don't need that..") Okay, I'll admit it, I don't even remember really what happened after that. I know at some point I took the third shot, and I was in M's room. I remember (but in a vague, did I dream that, or did that really happen? feeling) that I came up to M and kind of wrapped my legs over the sides of his (straddle style--he was sitting on the corner of his bed) and we kind of fell back into his bed kissing. I'm pretty sure it didn't go further than that. I don't really remember the sensation of kissing him or anything like that though. And who knows, I know from there, I don't know how long time has passed I leave the room to go to the bathroom. I don't remember really leaving M's room, or how I got into the bathroom--with Ky in there. I was sitting on the floor, and throwing up into the toilet. And Ky was trying to hold the door back, cuz this girl kept on trying to get in. I don't know why. I don't know why Ky was even in there. But I'm glad she was, even though, it's not cool, that she had to watch me get sick.
AFter that, it was obviously time to go. I don't remember leaving, I just remember being outside, and Ky was calling for me (because I was walking ahead of the crowd) and I yelled back that I couldn't stop. I knew I would be sick if I stopped again. So I kept on walking. Like something out of a movie, my vision blurry, stumbling, a drunk down High street, passing groups of kids, the lone girl. I kept thinking, that this is probably how people get raped, walking alone and drunk. But I was in such a fever to get home. I felt like I was floating, flying, I was walking so fast, and I got to my dorm, flashed my ID, and up I went, I was fine, until I decided I better go to the bathroom.
I walk in and Jane is washing her face. What would Jane think of me if she knew, i thought? Keep walking. Went to the last stall, where I crumbled in pieces beside it, and leaned over. But I didn't throw up. I just at there for a long time. I was so droopy, but when I shut my eyes it was like I was falling down a deep dark hole. Which first, was kind of scary, but it also made me more queasy. I don't know how long I sat there. Eventually decided I better go back to my room. But once in my room, I felt sick again. Grabbed a trash bag out of my closet and sat down, and threw up into it. I don't know how long I did that. Decided I was better, but not quite cured. I didn't know if I could make it up to my bed (it's lofted), and I also still felt sick. I grabbed Ky's 'flip and fuck' and pulled it out and lied down. I don't know how long I was there. When I finally got up, I realized that i missed my trashbag earlier on, and there was throw up on the floor.
As I move over there to clean it up, I realize I also threw up on the 'flip and fuck'. Damn. I wipe it up, what's visible, but I'm still pretty drunk at this point. I kind of change my clothes, and climb up into bed (a grocery bag in hand. ;) But thankfully, I don't need it. And I fall to sleep quickly.
I wake up this morning with clairvoyance a little before 9:30. I figured I was going to sleep the whole day away. Seeing as I didn't sleep at all last week, I got really drunk the night before, and on general, I sleep really late on Saturday. But I guess not. I'm kind of up in my bed giggling to myself, shaking my head in wonder at my behavior, trying to remember the night before. I look down off my bed, and: gross, I didn't clean up very good the night before.
I feel really bad, about throwing up in our room. Especially cuz I guess a night or two ago, Ky threw up in her bed. The floor would be cleanable, but (gasp) what would I do about her chair? I assume she's seen it, but was drunk herself when she came in so didn't do anything about it. (It's not bad, more of a liquid outline than nasty stuff ;) So I slip out of bed, impressed to be hangoverless, and go grab some soap and water, and try to as quietly as possible clean up my mess. Ky never does wake up.
Later on in the day we're talking about last night, and she asked me if I got sick again back here, and I said yes. She then said something like, well at least you made it to the bathroom, instead of me who threw up in the room. (la la la?) I had planned on telling her, that I got sick on her chair, but after that, I just....couldn't. So I didn't say anything.
When I went to go to breakfast I came back and her side of the room was all organized...including the blanket on the chair folded and neat (where I had previously thrown it casually over the spot that was all wet from my cleaning.
I don't know if she saw it. I checked it out once she left the room, and most of it had evaporated, so there's a chance she didn't even notice the stain. I think it's cleaned as best it can, but I still feel really bad about it. Sigh.
I really wasn't going to get jiggy with M last night. I don't want to lead him on, I feel kind of bad about that. Well, that's that. It only took me two quarters to miss a class and get "wasted." Next thing you know I'll be losing my virginity, getting a tatoo, piercing my eyebrow. Ah, things to come.
