13 September 2003

Sorry about the (non-existent) graphics. I had a gold membership but when I decided not to renew (voila, no pix!). I just need to find a new place to host my graphics, but I've been doing other things. But hey...you come here for the content, right?

Right? :)

It's been *so* long since I've actually designed a web page myself I've been trying to re-teach myself Dreamweaver. Not as if I had a lot of experience before--I was after all taught by a professor who was really excited about design (but didn't have a clue about teaching) and a T.A. from Egypt who spoke (er, no) english and that was in the class period where we were actually on computers making the webpages! I swear she didn't speak english--you'd call her over and ask a question and she'd just nod her head and say "yes!" and you'd be like...

I didn't ask a yes/no question. Hmmm. She'd also try to teach things that weren't in the tutorial that she thought "were cool" but you didn't even understand the basics let alone all the tricks and effects. Bleh.

So yeah, basically I'm teaching myself Fireworks & Dremweaver. If you've ever done it yourself and know of any excellent "how to" books please leave me a note here. I swear, I'm really confused with the one book I got. I almost think learning HTML is easier I seem to understand that better.

So I got a job! It's with a state association (sorry, no further details :) and I'll be an assistant to the Director of Education which is responsible for education related services for its members. So it's a great way to learn more about meeting planning, because that is essentially what I will be doing. My title is "education assistant" but I really won't be teaching anything. I'll be finding speakers, setting up room details, finding venues, researching topics. I think it'll be fun.

I hope. ;)

I'm not nervous yet but I might be on Monday (when I start). This is a new stage for me in many different ways. I have never worked full time in an office. I suppose my brief internships in the office environment gave me some clue what to expect, but I never had an office or real responsibilities. I was kind of like the little helper that would run copies and stuff envelopes.

And god, if that's all I'm doing here I will die. Haha, hopefully they'll be paying me to do something more useful, right? :)

But I'm not used to doing the whole 9-5 thing. I imagine it will crush me that first week (and second and third...). I start at 8:30. Luckily, I live less than 10 minutes away, so if we assume I leave by 8:15 that means I'm getting up around 7:00. Which means I'm going to bed at 11 to get 8 hours of sleep! Ack, i can't stand going to bed before midnight. Plus, if jeff is still working at the restaurant that means I'm going to bed when he's getting home. :(

Jeff wants to get out of the restaurant real bad. More than I wanted to, but I don't know what to tell him. He has a family friend that could give him a job, but he'd basically be working in collections. I'm sure calling people all day to discuss money owed won't be the most satisfying change.

Actually, getting the job that I did has caused some problems between Jeff and I. Nothing too much spoken about but I know it's lingering there. He knew I was going on the interview but I think somewhere through all of that he thought I would decline it even if I was offered the job. That is because we had recently decided that after a set point in funds reached (say 3K plus any moving expenses) we were just gonna go to L.A. job or no job because doing the long distance search really wasn't working for us.

Which was a great idea (wait, didn't I have that idea during graduation--where was he then?) Anyway, since initially following graduation he never seemed too keen on my "let's go by january" and just save money idea so I pretty much spent my money, and job searched all over--including here in our hometown.

Sure, I didn't want a job here, but I wanted a job. And I had gotten the impression from Jeff that he wasn't going to job search until his portfolio and website were finished and he wasn't moving until he had a job. Two things I thought would take a really long time. (He's still working on his website)).

Then just out of no where he magically gets this idea that we could just move without jobs and that's what we're doing. Of course I agreed b/c that's what I wanted all along, but it's like....hey, it took me three hard-core months of job searching and I finally got an interview...and then an offer--and I think I'll like the job.

I'm taking it! And i did. And I think he is happy/proud of me, but at the same time it was making me queasy thinking about what this would do to our relationship. I know I have to stay at least 6 months. The association's major conference is in february and I need to stay and finish that (I imagine most of my work up til then will be working on that). Sure, the thought of living at home until March does not sound good, and if I love the job...I'm not sure I'll want to go anywhere.

I'm not sure where that puts us. Basically what I've told Jeff is that my intention is to get out of Ohio and into a major city--soon. Within a year, actually. Had we decided together earlier on about this "save&go" plan I would have never even applied for positions here in our hometown, but too late now. I plan on being here at least through February...I'm guessing the earliest would be March. If I had to pick a random date I would suggest after my birthday (late April) to go.

That gives us plenty of time to save. And that gives me enough time to develop a working relationship with my new job. It's really not that long to be at a place and I feel awful thinking I'm leaving (and I haven't even started) already! But I know for Jeff's mental health (and for mine) we have to get out of Ohio. And who knows maybe I'll hate the job and it won't be hard to leave. And if I love it....we'll have to play it as time goes on.

Do I think Jeff would just go without me....I hope not! I hope I mean more to him than getting out of here. Would I be hurt if he left a little earlier--of course, but I think that would be okay. I think if he were offered a job I would definitly encourage him to go. And I would tell him to find *US* a place, and I would follow shortly after. But if he would just go...to go, and without me? I would be really hurt by that and I hope that would never happen. It's one thing to just "go" when we didn't have any responsibilities or plans--it's different now that I have a job.

That seems really dumb to me to leave a job to just randomly try to make it in a new city. Maybe if you're going through a mid-life crisis and you've been with the same company for 30 years and now you need a change, but...in this job market that's crazy to leave a job "just because."!

I don't want to leave my new job in a bad way. I hope it is a good experience and I learn a lot--but I don't terribly love it, that way it won't be too bad to leave.

Haha, do you love how I plan out my whole life and I haven't even started yet?

Well, i'm outy. Bye.