I'm so disappointed in myself.
I'm Jeff Depressed.
The weird thing, is that I've been like this since Thursday, and I only realized it tonight, what's up. I'm unresponsive, I want to sleep...I just want to sleep. I've got that uneasy restlessness and conflicting apathy inside my stomach. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know why I have it.
I'm so pathetically whipped, I am. I'm so dumb, I just want to see Jeff. I would be happy just hanging out with him all the time. I feel so dumb, like what's wrong with me? I have expectation happiness, I know. I expect to see him, and I expect that to make me happy because it always does. It's not even that I'm unhappy, I'm just...apathetic? Seriously, I've been sleeping away my waking hours just so I don't have to feel that way. I can't decide if I should just try to let it pass or force myself to be around other people, and hope it goes away.
I know everything is a state of mind, and I could make it go away if I tried or really wanted to, but I haven't put in the effort to change.
Am I so crazy? I just want to call him. Right now, I want to call him. I know if I wouldn't get to see him, I'd be depressed. I'm so dumb, I feel so...like a girl.
Why do I feel like this, what's wrong with me? I've got that...aglaia funk, feeling whatever in me. I feel like...
Bryan. I feel held up. Like a bottle full of something, I need to release and explode. I feel passionate and emotional. I feel like poetry. I feel like song. I feel mixed up.
I feel like talking to someone, but I don't have anyone. I don't even know what I would talk about once I got them there. Maybe my tears would speak for me. Maybe that helpless expression that hangs from my face would cue. I feel like chocolate, but I'm not PMS-ing.
This feels like PMS. I'm ovulating, shouldn't I be happy and beautiful and good smelling, and big breast baring?
I want to call him up and ask him if he wants to walk around campus. Would that be weird?
